Hence, I am sitting right now exactly where I was in JANUARY of this year. I am mad at myself. Frustrated. Very, very frustrated. Disappointed. I could be at goal (or darn close) right now if I stayed the course from the beginning.
But I didn't. Instead, I'm yo-yo-ing. Up and down 5-10 pounds constantly. Ugh.
To keep things in balance, I have done an awful lot in my life during this time. My entire life is upside down and different, from the house I live in, to the state I live in, the job I have, and the fact I am still struggling with grief after losing my mom. I no longer have a gym. I no longer have a personal trainer. I sold all my own equipment and no longer have my in-home gym. Those aren't excuses. They are my reality.
Also, when I was losing successfully, I was not putting pressure on myself. Some people thrive under pressure. I am not one of them in personal matters. Slow and steady wins my race. One next right choice, followed by another. Deliberately thinking out the choices, honoring them, until they become second nature. Once I start doing everything all at once differently, I lose the plot. Well EVERYTHING in my life is different now. And I have lost the plot.
So I'm going to regroup and reestablish what works....for me. Getting it out of my brain and in writing is a huge and very important step:
- I am going to get my food weighed, measured and unsloppified. (You like that word?)
- I am going to work out first thing in the morning, no matter what. When I was going to Gold's Gym to meet the personal trainer it was at 5 am. That meant up at 4:15 - 4:30 and leaving the house at 4:45 a.m. I did it and after a few days fell into a nice groove with it. I was in bed at a decent time and felt well rested all the time. This is CRITICAL to me...keeping a schedule.
- Accountability. I need some. Right now I don't check in with any regularity and have no accountability. So guess what? You guys are now my new accountability. Every day before I go to bed, at a very minimum, I am going to let you know how the day went.
A group of folks at work are having a weight loss contest. I know, I know, I know. Competitions have never worked for me. I joined anyway and it starts next week. It's a way to bond with my new coworkers, having fun with the smack talk and, most importantly, getting in the groove of talking about health and fitness with people. I haven't really had that since moving here and I think it's important.
I know I can do this. I have done it. I just need to....just do it already!