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Monday, August 19, 2013

Gonna Fly Now

You wanna flyyou got to give up the [crap] that weighs you down.” ― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

I want to fly again.  

I have soared from time to time in the past.  

I have looked at the world from the bird's eye view with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I carried a very light load and lived for the moment, enjoying the sun on my face and wind at my back.

And I have been crushed under piles of [crap] barely able to see even a crack of daylight breaking through the dark. You stay under those piles long enough and you even begin to forget there is a whole world out there with fresh air, flowers, sunshine and gentle breezes where you can breathe and be free.

Where I am now is somewhere in between.  I am free and don't carry the load I used to.  I was able to shed tons of other people's crap they had piled on me over the years.  I was able to sneak out from underneath other piles of crap I kind of asked to be put there as I was afraid of going too far or sailing too high.  That was unfamiliar territory.

Where I am now I am living in the sunlight, breathing in the fresh air, and have run fast and jumped in the air like Rudolph when he was first learning to fly.  I have sailed some....then realize I am flying, got scared, and came crashing back to the ground.  I have done that a time or 16 over the years.

Skaroo that.

I don't need to go back and psychoanalyze my past and figure out which trauma has created what barriers and which horrible experience piled too much weight on me.  


What I need to do is back up, getting a running freaking head start and jump in the air and just start freaking flying.  And if I discern something is weighing me down, I need to lighten it up or let it go.

I'm sick of going just so far in life and then self-sabotaging and inviting weights in.  I"m like a weight magnet if you will.  (lol ha..see what I did there?)

I don't have all the answers in life and I am not 100% sure how I am going to do it, but I am here, the sky is there, I like it up there and by golly it's my time to fly, with or without a freaking copilot in the cockpit.  (see what I did there, too? I slay me.)

Life is frantically busy right now, but I need to blog.  The Universe is screaming at me to blog.  Maybe I'll be blogging from a mile in the air one day soon and writing my words in the sky.....

One thing is for sure.  I do know some of the patterns and behaviors that I choose of my own accord that can weigh me down and I'm going to get out from underneath them once and for all so I CAN get airborne.  

Yup,..I'm Gonna Fly Now....

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