“You wanna fly, you got to give up the [crap] that weighs you down.” ― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
I want to fly again.
I have soared from time to time in the past.
I have looked at the world from the bird's eye view with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I carried a very light load and lived for the moment, enjoying the sun on my face and wind at my back.
And I have been crushed under piles of [crap] barely able to see even a crack of daylight breaking through the dark. You stay under those piles long enough and you even begin to forget there is a whole world out there with fresh air, flowers, sunshine and gentle breezes where you can breathe and be free.
Where I am now is somewhere in between. I am free and don't carry the load I used to. I was able to shed tons of other people's crap they had piled on me over the years. I was able to sneak out from underneath other piles of crap I kind of asked to be put there as I was afraid of going too far or sailing too high. That was unfamiliar territory.
Where I am now I am living in the sunlight, breathing in the fresh air, and have run fast and jumped in the air like Rudolph when he was first learning to fly. I have sailed some....then realize I am flying, got scared, and came crashing back to the ground. I have done that a time or 16 over the years.
I don't need to go back and psychoanalyze my past and figure out which trauma has created what barriers and which horrible experience piled too much weight on me.
What I need to do is back up, getting a running freaking head start and jump in the air and just start freaking flying. And if I discern something is weighing me down, I need to lighten it up or let it go.
I'm sick of going just so far in life and then self-sabotaging and inviting weights in. I"m like a weight magnet if you will. (lol ha..see what I did there?)
I don't have all the answers in life and I am not 100% sure how I am going to do it, but I am here, the sky is there, I like it up there and by golly it's my time to fly, with or without a freaking copilot in the cockpit. (see what I did there, too? I slay me.)
Life is frantically busy right now, but I need to blog. The Universe is screaming at me to blog. Maybe I'll be blogging from a mile in the air one day soon and writing my words in the sky.....
One thing is for sure. I do know some of the patterns and behaviors that I choose of my own accord that can weigh me down and I'm going to get out from underneath them once and for all so I CAN get airborne.
Yup,..I'm Gonna Fly Now....