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Monday, August 19, 2013

Gonna Fly Now

You wanna flyyou got to give up the [crap] that weighs you down.” ― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

I want to fly again.  

I have soared from time to time in the past.  

I have looked at the world from the bird's eye view with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I carried a very light load and lived for the moment, enjoying the sun on my face and wind at my back.

And I have been crushed under piles of [crap] barely able to see even a crack of daylight breaking through the dark. You stay under those piles long enough and you even begin to forget there is a whole world out there with fresh air, flowers, sunshine and gentle breezes where you can breathe and be free.

Where I am now is somewhere in between.  I am free and don't carry the load I used to.  I was able to shed tons of other people's crap they had piled on me over the years.  I was able to sneak out from underneath other piles of crap I kind of asked to be put there as I was afraid of going too far or sailing too high.  That was unfamiliar territory.

Where I am now I am living in the sunlight, breathing in the fresh air, and have run fast and jumped in the air like Rudolph when he was first learning to fly.  I have sailed some....then realize I am flying, got scared, and came crashing back to the ground.  I have done that a time or 16 over the years.

Skaroo that.

I don't need to go back and psychoanalyze my past and figure out which trauma has created what barriers and which horrible experience piled too much weight on me.  


What I need to do is back up, getting a running freaking head start and jump in the air and just start freaking flying.  And if I discern something is weighing me down, I need to lighten it up or let it go.

I'm sick of going just so far in life and then self-sabotaging and inviting weights in.  I"m like a weight magnet if you will.  (lol ha..see what I did there?)

I don't have all the answers in life and I am not 100% sure how I am going to do it, but I am here, the sky is there, I like it up there and by golly it's my time to fly, with or without a freaking copilot in the cockpit.  (see what I did there, too? I slay me.)

Life is frantically busy right now, but I need to blog.  The Universe is screaming at me to blog.  Maybe I'll be blogging from a mile in the air one day soon and writing my words in the sky.....

One thing is for sure.  I do know some of the patterns and behaviors that I choose of my own accord that can weigh me down and I'm going to get out from underneath them once and for all so I CAN get airborne.  

Yup,..I'm Gonna Fly Now....



  1. Yes, I saw what you did there. Yes, you slay me too.


    ..and if you catch a glimpse of something rising out of your peripheral vision, it might just be me, gliding and crashing, so just ignore me and carry on, k?

    1. If you're crashing, I'm not carrying on. Grab onto a wing and let's gooooooooooooooooo.

  2. For some reason, watching the video, tears are streaming down my face. Wow.


    1. I know Diana....sometimes something inspirational touches something inside of me, too, and the waterfall starts... :-)

  3. there's one thing you've forgotten re Rudolph's first flight---right before it, the little doe says to him, "i think you're kind of cute." And he is saying to himself, "I'm cute! I'm cute!" as he lifts off :-)

    So...are you listening???

    "Carly, I think you're kind of cute!"


  4. Glad you are back I was getting withdrawal symptoms. Hope the reunion went well. I hope if you are a mile high you have other things on your mind than blogging hahahahaha


    1. lol I wish.... I do need to blog about the reunion - life has been crazy busy and I started doing P90X every day which removes my normal morning blog time. Must. Figure. This. Out!


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