Push up O'Clock

Yesterday I started back on the road to a fitter, healthier me.  The detour wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  When I got on the scale, it was 254.  I thought it was going to be much higher. Whew.  Still, that set me back to mid-June before all my travels and vacations and that's a little sad.  I have to remember that any time I have derailed in the past, it set me back decades.  So this is most definitely progress.

The key components to my getting on track have to include:

• Eating healthy, whole, and whenever possible, organic foods
• Eating appropriate quantities of foods
• Reducing or eliminating processed foods
• Doing some form of aerobic workout (treadmill, biking, etc.)
• Doing some weight training
• Doing some toning exercises

My food is pretty much in check and I've gotten back into recording what I eat on my Weight Watchers tracker.  Accountability like that is important for someone like me who can delude herself rather easily.  I have not started the aerobics.  I keep having a panicky "I MUST do this" or "I HAVE to" feeling, which somehow paralyzes me.  I'll work through that, but in the meantime, at least some toning and resistance exercise is occurring.  

This exercise is in the form of "Push-up O'Clock."

At the top of every hour, all my coworkers and I get together and do just a couple minutes of some form of exercise, such as:

• As many push-ups as we can
• As many sit-ups as we can
• Push-ups against the wall
• Squats
• Lunges
• Crunches
• Anything else someone comes up with

We did this all day yesterday, and after just one little day I have somehow managed to make every part of my body a little bit sore.  I'm GLAD!  This actually feels good and is a reminder that I'm doing something good for my body.  Yay!

I'm going to continue the push-up o'clocks and enjoy the results (my shoulders will start to be sculpted again...doing various kinds of push-ups are awesome for the shoulders!)  

I may have to alter the schedule a little though.  Because 3:00 p.m. has been my choco'clock for months.  I grab a square or two of 72% or greater dark chocolate and a cup of coffee as my daily reward for all my healthy choices. And if I'm going to get back into the swing of things, I'm not willing to give up the rewards.  So after a moment of consideration, I have decided choco'clock will be at 3:30 pm.  Done and done.

Grab folks at your office and get them doing push-up o'clock with you!  I bet they'll love it and you'll get pretty quick rewards.  If you try it, let me know!!!

♥

Abandonment, Someday and Me.

I think we all have fears of abandonment to some degree.  We may have even experienced some form of abandonment:  a life partner leaving us, a parent passing away, having a best friend stop liking us and then fade into silence are all examples of abandonment and it's not a fun process to go through.

However, I think the worst type of abandonment I have ever had to deal with is when I have walked out on myself.  The times I have abandoned my own dreams, turned my back on my goals, and allowed myself to slip into the "someday" mentality.  You know what I'm talking about.  You're not fully alive and not fully embracing today because you're waiting for that elusive "someday" to arrive: 

• I'm going to lose weight someday.
• I'm going to work on my education someday.
• Someday I'd like to write a book.

There are also derivative variants of "someday," like:

• One of these days I'm going to start exercising again.
• After summer I'm going to start jogging again.
• Next month I want to......

They are all vague, impossible-to-pin-down times that aren't assigned an actual start date and therefore can keep getting pushed further and further away.

That's where my whole "makeover" went since June.  "After this trip" "After this vacation"  "After I deal with this funeral" "One of these days I'm going to get back on the plan."

Well, skaroo that.  I have "someday'ed" myself right up the scale.  I can't tell you how much I have gained, because I was putting off getting on the scale until 'someday' when I was back on track! 

This morning, I woke up with one thought screaming in my head:

• Today, I got up and made a fantastic green smoothie with spinach and greek yogurt and fresh fruits.
• Today, I have been doing "pushup o'clock" or "lunge oclock" all day at work.  Every hour, on the hour, I have been moving and squatting and lunging.  And I will continue to do that at the top of each hour...all day...today.
• Today, I am having a dark leafy green salad with salmon for lunch and if I get hungry later today, I am having some organic oatmeal with raisins.
• Today, when I get home, I am facing my fears and getting on the scale.  You can't fix what you don't acknowledge, right?
• And NO MATTER WHAT, today I am getting my arse back on that treadmill.

I'm not going to abandon myself, my dreams, my goals.  I matter.  I'm worth the effort.  This isn't a dress rehearsal.  We can't live in "someday" or even "tomorrow."  All we have is today, and I want to live it.

Who's with me?

♥

Fall Cleaning

It's September 2, 2011 and I have a confession.

I haven't worked out, at all, not even once, since about July 20th.  That's nearly 8 weeks.  Egads, that's bad!

My weight loss is at an absolute standstill.

I have started back "clean eating" again.  I'm tracking everything I eat on Weight Watcher's online tracking tool, I'm making sure I eat plenty of dark leafy green veggies.  I'm going super low on the grains and minding my portions.  After just a few days back on my game, I can feel a noticable difference.  My son could tell you I'm less of a bee-otch also.  That's a fact.

But.....

I have to start moving again.  I hopped up on the treadmill just to get reacquainted with it and work my way back.  I didn't actually use the treadmill.  I just stood on it barefooted and kind of groped at the buttons and handles and such.  It felt like a start.  I keep saying "if I could only just do 10 minutes today, I'd be happy" or "I'm going to do 10 minutes today, no matter what."  And then.....I do not do it.

In fairness to me (it's my blog, I get to be fair to me!) we're in the midst of all-new schedules and adjusting to that.  I used to get up at 5, eat protein, drink coffee, wake up, do laundry if I needed it that day, then start exercising at 5:45 until 7 am.  Then I'd shower, get ready for work, drop my son off at elementary school by 8:30 and head to my work.

Now?  He gets dropped off at 6:55 a.m. at the latest for middle school.  I have lost a full 90 minutes of my morning!  AND I'm taking a college class that requires 2 to 3 hours per day of reading/participating online, etc.  Frankly, I'm drowning under the weight of things at the moment.

Ironically, I know that if I start exercising regularly, I will have more energy and clarity for dealing with everything.  Such a catch 22.  But as I discovered with the eating...I can come back around and psychoanalyze the "whys" later.  For now, I just need to take action and do it.  I'll report back as a comment on this post when I actually get up on that treadmill and walk!

Why Water The Weeds?

It doesn't take an expert gardener to realize that my garden is just a wee bit overgrown and could use some major weeding.

I've been gone most of the summer and with what little time resources I have, I've been doing other trivial things - like paying bills, cooking, cleaning, school shopping, working, etc. I don't feel terribly badly about it, but looking at the flower beds, something kind of profound hit me.

All summer the sprinkler was set to water everything in the back all at once.  It was the easiest way to make sure everything got wet.  And of course, "everything" included the weeds.  Look at 'em.  They're thriving as they choke out my flowers.  Heck you can barely even see the flowers as the weeds are totally taking over.

And as I looked at how the weeds were thriving, it occurred to me:  Don't Water The Weeds!

What grows?  That which you invest your time in, pay attention to, nurture, and nourish.  Hmmmm.

I have limited time, money, energy and stamina.  I need to focus my limited resources where they are going to make the best possible impact in my life, and in my son's life.  I need to take a look at where I am putting my time, money and energy.  Am I mindlessly "watering the weeds?"  Heck yeah!

I'm not saying that every minute of every day needs to be spent on task, working toward a specific goal.  But I can demonstrate whole days that blew by me whilst Googling and learning all about interesting yet  useless information, or flinging angry birds across the screen, or hitting refresh 100 times to see if someone responded to my fascinating facebook post.  In other words, I have been, at times, watering the weeds.

The same can be said of relationships.  Am I watering and feeding the healthy ones?  I'm not sure that I am.  I know for certain I have invested some of my limited time and resources on relationships that do not add to my life, do not nourish me, and do not bring me closer to peace, happiness or a better place.  And instead of letting them go, I think that by adding enough water they'll stop being weeds and turn into flowers.  I'm not a botanist, but I don't think it scientifically works that way.

Well, moving forward, I want to be more aware of how I am spending my time, my finances, my energy and my heart.  I want to do a little more weeding and make better choices in my Life's Garden. I want to kind of map it out.  See what I have, what I should take care of, what I need to weed out, and become more aware of how I'm spending my resources.  That leads right into planning and goal setting, which I will save for another day.  For today, I'm going to just be mindful of how I am spending my time and money, because you can't fix what you don't acknowledge and you can't acknowledge what you don't even allow yourself to see!

And what I see is the makings of a beautiful garden, if I pay attention to what I'm doing!  :-)