Well, the time has come to boldly go where no Carly has gone before. It's time for The Big Reveal.
I think some of you will find it tremendously helpful to know who and what you're dealing with here. Like where I really started, where I am heading, and to quantify that with specifics. So (deep breath) here goes...
First, below is a photo album of where I started last summer and where I am today, which is almost exactly at the halfway marker. I am posting the slideshow here, but it is also tucked into the blog on the righthand side so that once this blog post gets bumped down, folks can see the photo roll no matter which page you're on.
Of all the things I have shared with you, this right here...this is the most difficult and leaves me the most vulnerable to your possible rejection. Hey, this emotional stuff runs deep. It's pretty hard to admit I weighed 320 pounds. It's painful to acknowledge I was wearing a size 30/32. But last summer I did, in fact, reach 320 pounds and was wearing a size 30/32. That is a 5XL.
Here's a breakdown for you:
Using the calculator at National Institutes Of Health BMI Calculator at 5' 10" tall and 320 pounds, my body mass index (BMI) was 45.9, which according to NIH is obese (anything greater than 30 BMI is obese).
But it breaks down further than that. Almost all sites break it down as seen on Wikipedia.:
According to all sites, there are these varying classes of obesity. Wikipedia further breaks it down this way:
- Any BMI ≥ 35 or 40 is severe obesity
- A BMI of ≥ 35 or 40–44.9 or 49.9 is morbid obesity
- A BMI of ≥ 45 or 50 is super obesity
That would be me. Well, that WAS me anyway. I was exactly 1 BMI point over "morbidly obese" and into "super obese." Having a big toe into that category is pretty freaking scary. And, well....sad.
I am now 252 pounds which puts me at a 36.2 BMI, or "severe obesity." I am 7 pounds away from scoring Class 1 obesity (just plain old regular garden variety obesity like the majority of other Americans). It's pretty sad when "just being obese" is your next major goal.
On the UP side, however, I have lost 68 pounds, and according to the charts, I have another 78 pounds to go until I am what they consider "normal" weight. That's pretty freaking exciting to me today. I have already gone from a size 30/32 to a size 18/20 (some 22's still for sure, but many 18/20's fit me). I can't imagine how small I will be when I lose another 78 pounds!
I may find that 180 or 185 ends up being my perfect weight. Or that size 14 is ideal. I don't know. This is all brand new territory. I haven't been near this weight for decades, so it's a mystery to me yet to be revealed! The smallest I can ever recall being was a size 12 when I was 19 and that was just ONE pair of jeans and I squeezed into them for about 2 weeks before rising up to a size 14. At a size 14, I looked and felt pretty flipping good.
Anyway, there's my "confession" of sorts. It is what it is. I'm so freaking tired of hiding myself from anyone. From avoiding people. Or leaving out bits of information. I am me. This is it. Take it or leave it.
Life isn't a dress rehearsal and if I don't dive in and just start living to the max now, I may not get a tomorrow to try it.
"Those who truly matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter."