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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Puzzling Out My Purpose

"You are a piece of the puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you."
-- Bonnie Arbon 

I love this quote.  It reminds me that, while I seem to love being the center of my universe and focusing on me, me, me.....there are other people with whom I interact who are learning something from me.    It can be uncomfortable to stop and reflect on what, exactly, I am teaching through my words and actions, and to whom.

I am quite sure I have served as an example of "what not to do" a time or three in my life.  I'm sure I have filled in holes in some people's lives with a puzzle piece of sadness or anger or confusion or mistrust or doubt.  

I'd like to think I've also filled in pieces of others' lives with laughter, love, connectedness, friendship and warmth.  

I get so caught up in survival mode in life that I forget that that my life does actually intersect with others.  I generally feel pretty disconnected from people living out on an emotional island. I sometimes feel like my thoughts and actions don't really matter out in the world (except, of course, to my son where I am painfully aware I am being watched and serving as a primary role model...that's scary.)  Do you ever feel that way?

Well, you matter and so do I.  I sometimes forget this truth.  And then someone I don't know and have never met will send me an email telling me they joined a gym, or made themselves get on their treadmill...because something I wrote on the blog inspired them.  That's pretty humbling and it makes me want to make sure that the pieces of me that are placed into someone else's puzzle going forward are light and not dark, positive and not negative; I want to increase love and hope in the world, not decrease them....and I am reminded that I get to choose.

I don't know how I am perceived and I can't control those perceptions.  What I can control are my own choices. 

Maybe my job is to remain authentic, to speak from the heart, to keep it real, and to try to make more next right choices than next wrong ones....and let God take care of how those puzzle pieces all fit together.  


  1. “So, don't worry about people from your past…
    there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.”

    Humans have a symbiotic relationship with each other. With each other we live life to the full. Without each other, we cease enjoying life at all. Man, while sometimes seeking and basking in solitude and reclusively from the world at large, is permanently, inherently dependant on the physical and emotional support of others.

    As a major proof, it is why God created Woman and the ability to procreate. Man was clearly never intended to live alone. However…

    In every persons life, there should come a time when one will come to the inescapable realization that other people fall into only one of two categories; Those Who Matter and Those Who Don’t, subcategorized as; Those Who Matter Now and Those Who Matter Most in the first grouping, but in the latter are; Those Who Never Did and Those Who Don't Anymore.

    Those Who Matter Most will include spouse, children, parents, family, best friends, maybe even your boss and support group members…among others.

    Those Who Never Did will encompass the majority of humans on the planet. Not a negative judgment, just a fact of life.

    The inevitable shift from one category to another is always based on only three factors: Need, Trust and Love. In that order of individual importance, they determine whether or not the relationship is going to be brief, substantial or longterm.

    One’s position in the Those Who Matter Now list is a temporary thing. Take for example that late night emergency plumber, your therapist and the charity fund raising event your place of employment sponsors. You may love and need to be involved with those people for a couple of hours, days or maybe a couple of years but sooner or later those people will be shifted into one of only two other places; Those Who Matter Most or Those Who Don’t Anymore.

    The thing to bear in mind is that in relationships that are meant to last the long haul, Love and Trust combine to create Need. Those three things braid into becoming the ‘ties-that-bind’ and they are sacred, not to be taken lightly....nor ever for granted. They are precious gifts willingly bestowed by the giver, but once lost or broken, they take excruciating effort to restore, and more often than not, despite tremendous or repeated attempts, restoration just cannot be made.

    Therefore, when the opportunity arises that one must take assessment of the relationships in their lives’, the acknowledgement that there may need to be changes in placement is normal. Not always easy, just normal. And when wise choices are made, those who are kept are cherished, and those who are not kept, well......

    An insightful lady once told me, "So don't worry about people from your past. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

    Whether it be by your choice or theirs, the decision was made and needs to be respected. We do well to keep in mind though, that the relationships that others keep and cherish, may not be with those of our choosing, and maybe not even be with us ourselves…but that is their choice, just as much as it is ours to either have them or not.

    But the most eye-opening realization of all is when each and every one of us, becomes either joyfully or painfully aware…

    …that God……makes the same choices.

    Heaven help me.

  2. Great write-up, I am a big believer in commenting on blogs to inform the blog writers know that they’ve added something worthwhile to the world wide web!..
    Pendant Lights


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