Sunday, January 29, 2012
So this morning every time I tried to lean to pick something up, the whole top would basically flop off of me! I really have no choice...this is just not wearable any longer.
This prompted me to head to the bedroom and reassess the rest of my clothes. Holy moly....there is now another huge trash bag full of clothes to donate. And I don't mean getting rid of clothes that are a little baggy. I mean things that look ridiculous if I put them on.
It was fun, exhilarating and freeing to purge out the old.
And it was also sad.
There are a lot of memories wrapped up in some of the clothes. Really. My trusty "tried and true" fat clothes that would cover me when I wanted to hide. Or would always fit me in a pinch. I can remember events I went to wearing certain things, or job interviews, etc. The memories of the past, while not always pleasant, are comfortable in that I know how to navigate life hiding in those clothes!
There is also some fear. I'm going into unknown territory. No fall-backs? No bigger clothes to run to? I've always kept bigger clothes in the closet in case I needed them. This time, I won't need them. I'm not going back. And I have no freaking clue what that means, what I'm heading into, where this path is going to lead me. I feel slightly off balance.
I've left my comfort zone completely behind me, yet I'm only halfway to becoming the person I think maybe I was always meant to be. It's exciting, for sure. And saying goodbye to the old isn't the easiest thing to do. But I need to make sure the goodbye isn't an "until we meet again."
Because I didn't "lose" those 80 pounds (where they can be found again.) I have gotten rid of them for good, just like the clothes I used to cover 'em up. "Au revoir pour toujours"....goodbye forever old me!
Posted by CarlyWeb