Body Image

I was talking with my BFF earlier (my best fat friend) who has been on this journey with me since elementary school.

Together her and I have probably lost and then regained 1,500 pounds over the years - so we have a lot of shared perspective on this whole body image topic.

One thing we were talking about is how despite our significant weight loss and our solid progress over the past couple of years (she looks fabulous and has been near goal for quite some time now) we can still FEEL as fat as we were at our highest and we can still SEE ourselves at our fattest.  It's a little scary how easily our own body image can change based on the choices we make on any given day.

This picture was taken yesterday by a coworker who told me that a couple of times during the day, when she saw me walking down the hall, the word that came to her mind was "skinny"  (Not really that I am skinny, but maybe that my weight loss is so drastic that I'm moving in that direction?)

I asked her to take a picture so I could see what she saw.  She snapped front, side and back for me and when I looked at the pictures I thought, "wow!  That's me?"

I am looking at it right now as I type this and I am trying to imagine what I would think if I was meeting myself for the first time, or if I saw myself on the street.  I think I'd just think that was an average woman.  Heavyset/big, for sure, but heck so is most of America.  I wouldn't say "more fat" than anyone else.  In other words, I see nothing abnormally large in the photograph.

But in the mirror, I see every flaw.  Just sitting here, I can feel the loose torso area and when I look in the mirror, my eyes frequently zoom right in on the flaws to see if they are properly hidden/masked/etc.

And my perspective is influenced also by that day's choices.  This is where my BFF and I were laughing.  If I work out and eat healthy, I can look in the mirror and see a pretty cool chick who's got it going on.  Miss Thang.  After a weekend like the 4th of July (my 4 day bender) I would look in the mirror and see the same girl who was 81 pounds heavier!

I don't have this whole body image thing figured out yet and it really does fluctuate in ridiculous degrees.

What I do know for sure, though, is that when I make my next right choices - eat well and keep my body moving - I feel good about myself and that translates into the filter I use when looking in the mirror.

Body Image:  One more reason to keep making next right choices.

Carly

The "A" in ADHD

What might ADHD look like in Carly's world?

For starters, I get bored easily.

I get overwhelmed easily.

I get great, enthusiastic ideas. I think about them, run around talking about them and researching about them, and then never quite get around to implementing them.

I charge full force into a project like rearranging a room, or closets, or cupboards, or something "organizational" and not long into it I am ready to throw everything I own in the dumpster and start fresh, with nice, clean, empty spaces around me.

I have a pretty short attention span, and can get overwhelmed by "too much" of anything and having to think of all the pieces of the puzzle at once.  Growing up my mom always called me "scatterbrained" (she meant it in a loving way -really!)

Reigning in and distilling ideas, projects and activities sometimes takes herculean effort for me.  At times I bounce between small bouts of focusing on my finances, the household chores, laundry (yuckkkkkkk), schedules, etc. and at times after assessing all there is to do, I opt to sit down and do absolutely nothing instead. (Facebook, anyone?)

You might think that would translate to getting bored with working out, too.

Nope.  Not at all.

Routine and simplicity make my life SO much better.  I work out the same days (mostly) and we do variations of the same stuff when weight training.  When walking and jogging I go to the same two greenways (or the treadmill).  I like the structure and the simplicity.

I don't have to think about it, analyze (or over analyze) it.  I don't have to research it.  I don't have to put it together or figure out where it fits. I just get up and do it, and it feels fantastic.

On Monday and Thursday mornings, I do weight training.  All other days I do cardio and when I have extra time or extra motivation, I do extra abs.  Easy peasy, just the way I like it.

I follow up the morning workout with the same shake (or slight variation) every day.  It's easy.  I don't have to think about it.  I can make up parts of it in advance so I just have to add the liquid and shake or blend.

I highly recommend that if you are ADD/ADHD or just new to working out OR just don't have a lot of time to plan OR just don't care to plan elaborate schemes....then let the KISS principle apply:  Keep It Simple Silly.  Find out what works and just keep doing THAT until it doesn't work anymore. Make a simple workout chart and check off the moves as you complete them.

By keeping it simple, it is easier to give it my full and undivided attention to get the most out of it.  And although not officially diagnosed (yet), I think I do have ADHD (and am pretty certain I have had it all my life. More blogs to follow on that topic as I explore it.)

I think the "A" in ADHD also stands for Awesomeness.  It's a burden, but I'm willing to carry it for the greater good.  I have a friend who tells me the "A" in Carly's ADHD stands for Audience, as in, I need one.  Hmmmm.......I will neither confirm nor deny, but if you like my blog, be sure to share it with friends.

Carly

A Quick Recovery Matters

I always wondered how the skinny people managed to stay skinny when I saw them eating pizza and ice cream with my own eyes.  Or average weight people who I saw at a ballgame pigging out on fries, hot dogs, burgers and beer.

The trick in this "it's a lifestyle, not a diet" perspective, I am learning, is to make a quick recovery after the indulgence and to keep your eye on the goal ahead.

In the past I would eat well for x number of days or weeks and then go hog wild eating everything in sight for a day, which became two days, which turned into a guilt-laden week and possibly into a slip so bad I didn't even feel remorse anymore as I ate anything I wanted (and gained back substantial weight in the process).

Right now I'm in a really good place and see things much differently.

This past holiday weekend I had a 4 day slip.  I ate ice cream, cake, cookies, barbecue, bread, more ice cream...you get the idea.  By Sunday night I had gained a full 5 pounds.  In four days.  You read that right.

Monday morning I decided to not look back, not beat myself up and not worry about it.  I ate healthy this week, hit the treadmill or the trails every single day, did weight training as scheduled, and ate super cleanly.  I didn't undercut my calories.  I ate what I was supposed to, drank lots of water, avoided all sugar and most flour, and kept my body moving.  In other words, I did what I have been doing without beating myself up over last weekend.

And guess what?

I am down two pounds.  I don't mean I gained those 5 and now lost 2 so I'm still up 3 (if you followed that math.)  I mean, I lost those 5 PLUS an additional 2!

They are gone and I understand why.  It was a QUICK recovery while my body was still used to a higher metabolism and used to eating cleanly.  My healthier body helped me process that unhealthy stuff quickly.

If that slip turned into a couple of weeks, my metabolism would have slowed way down, my muscles would have started to decrease, and my body would have gotten attached and snuggly with the extra fat.  I would have been on the fast track to gaining it all back!

Here's today's advice.

If you have a glutton-fest, well, so be it. Don't let that be an excuse to keep slipping. Let that be a motivator to work out well, eat cleanly, and turn it back around quickly. And don't wait for "Monday".  Get up NOW. You will feel SO glad you did.

Now I'm not worried about the odd pig out day.  I am starting to understand that it's a day, a choice, a way to enjoy the moment - without derailing the master plan even a little...IF that's how I handle it and IF it happens rarely.  The more frequently, obviously, the less likely to recover.

My goodness.  I think this might be what that "lifestyle change" lingo is all about.

Carly

On Quitting Smoking

I quit smoking on November 1, 2009.  For years I battled smoking and weight.  For years I tried to overcome both, unsuccessfully.  For me, I had to overcome the smoking first in order to have the time, energy, ability to breathe, and the stamina to tackle exercise.

I stumbled upon Quitnet.com and found a Forums area.  This area is designed for people like you and me to support others who were trying to quit smoking.  I learned a lot from them and they held my hand through the very difficult process of quitting.  I formed some lifelong friendships there and have had the pleasure of meeting several of them in person.

Someone recently reposted my 2 year anniversary "ramble" in the forums and I thought I'd share it here.

If you are trying to quit, or know anyone who struggles with quitting, pass this along (there's a facebook share button on the side, too) ...who knows, maybe it will help.  If I can help anyone quit and regain their freedom from the horrible addiction of smoking, it is my privilege to do so, and only fair to pay it forward for all the help that was given to me.

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"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -Martin Luther King

You say you want to quit smoking. Do you? Really?

Are you willing to give up your comfort zone?
Are you willing to walk where you have never walked before?
Will you trust those of us who are ahead on the path to help guide you?Are you willing to shatter your deeply held core beliefs about yourself?

I held so many lies as my core beliefs about myself and about life that had to be shattered and rebuilt in order to make it this far. Lies, like:

1. "I am a smoker. A smoker is just WHO I AM."

2. "Cigarettes are my friend; they've been there with me through every life event."

3. "I can't make it without smoking. Life is too hard."I'm here to tell you that this kind of thinking is the addiction talking, and they are all lies.



Let's debunk those lies...

1. I am NOT a smoker. I am Carly. Carly, a non smoker is who I am, who I was born to be...who I always was - underneath the addiction was a scared non smoker just wanting a chance to break free.

2. Cigarettes are my ENEMY. Through every day since age 11, they have been poisoning me, sneering, jeering, and patiently waiting for my demise. Cigarettes are poison; they cause death, destruction of families and misery. "I" was with me for every life event. "I" was responsible for soothing myself during hard times and I can do it without the poison....(In fact, I have found so many wonderful ways to experience all life's events...being PRESENT, and not anxiously trying to escape for that smoke.)

3. I can, in fact, make it without smoking. Life is hard for all of us. Smoking just makes it so much harder. The added guilt, shame, labored breathing, stench, expense, and distraction from real living....egad I am so grateful to be free. Life is not easy, for any of us. But it's MUCH easier than it used to be now that I don't smoke. And that's a fact.

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During that first month when I quit I cried a lot. I kicked. I screamed. I felt nauseous  I couldn't think. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't function very well. I was scared and excited and awkward and so out of sorts.

But I read what everyone was telling me. They were saying, it's hard, Carly, but it will get easier IF YOU DO NOT SMOKE. Just hang in there. Believe us. There will come a point where you don't think about smoking. You won't crave it. You'll be free.

I didn't know what that could possibly look like. I didn't know what that could possibly feel like. I had no frame of reference. It was like I grew up since age 11 locked in a dungeon with lots of other really nice smoking prisoners.  Other folks kept sending me messages that there was another world out there with sunlight and fresh air and breezes and freedom.  I could kind of imagine it, but couldn't really understand the big difference.....BUT I BELIEVED THEM. They had gone before me and knew what I did not know.

And I read and read and read everything that those successful people were trying to tell me. I read their profiles. I read their stories.

I shared my process openly and kind of fearlessly. I figured, holding it all in and trying to do it all MY way had failed me dozens of times. My way doesn't work. It just doesn't. So I figured if I spilled it all out and let the successful people share their suggestions, experience, strength and hope...I'd have a chance at doing it DIFFERENTLY.

And it worked. If they told me to go put my head in a freezer for 3 minutes during a bad craving, then come back and post, by God I did it! (I’m not making that up, I really did that.) If they told me to go to bed at 8 p.m. and wake up the next day a winner, well, nite nite, see ya in the morning! (I really did that, too.)

What I can say now is what they told me two years ago.

If you don't smoke, it WILL get easier. If you don't smoke, there WILL come a time when you don't think about it, don't crave it, and don't want it. I know. Because that is where I am now.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -Martin Luther King

Take one step. Then another. Then another. And I promise you, there is a path out of the dungeon and it is way better than you can possibly imagine.
Believe us.


~Carly

Your Journey Awaits

“All journeys have secret destinations 

of which the traveler is unaware.” 

~ Martin Buber

I don't believe that it is everyone's calling to hang upside down from a zip line, to raft in the whitewaters of the Ocoee River in the Cherokee National Forest or to hike to a mountaintop in the Smoky Mountains. Blogging about life, goals, fitness, diet, motivation and adventure isn't a part of everyone's journey, either.

And 10 years ago I certainly didn't imagine that any of this was going to be part of my own life's journey.

At that time I was a morbidly obese, severely depressed, emotionally abused and incredibly isolated woman whose spirit was beaten down and trampled.  I felt I was living someone else's life because I was not following my own heart, my own dreams, and I was not honoring the authentic me who was buried deep down inside of me and stripped of her own voice, goals, dreams and desires. 

On April 15, 2005 I made the decision to escape from that life and to start on a new journey toward the life I knew was waiting for me.  The one where I was free from all the piles of everyone else's garbage that was dumped on top of me, and free to explore the world through my own eyes - to find my own calling.

I think once you make the decision to start on a path toward something better, you need to remain a little flexible and let unexpected good things happen.  Once you set some goals and start taking steps toward them, understand that there will be terrific and unexpected events, people, opportunities and adventures that will be presented to you that never would have been presented to you if you did not start down that path!  

If you seize those moments, those opportunities and adventures will lead you to secret places you didn't know existed and to new goals, dreams and desires you didn't even know you had!

For instance, after moving out I met someone who led me to finding a new, better job.  At that new job, I met people who led me to explore health and fitness a little bit.  I joined an online support site to quit smoking.  Quitting smoking led me to be able to breathe again and start physical activities. Getting active and starting physical activities attracted active, fit friends whose friendship led me to try many new things. The process of losing the weight and turning my life around led me to blog. Blogging has led me photography because I want better photos on the blog!  It has also led to a desire to write a book.  

Throughout this leg of my journey I have discovered countless people, places, adventures, stories, and moments I could never have had if I didn't decide one day I wanted something better for my life and just put one foot in front of the other with the belief that I would find my way.  I have discovered courage I didn't know I had, strength I didn't know I had, and have completely rewritten the ending to my story.  

You don't have to change your entire world like I did.  

But if you are not happy with any part of your current situation, know this.  Once you step on the path toward what you DO want, you will find so many cool things you don't even realize you want!  And things you'd never find by playing it safe and staying stuck.

Take one step out there toward your goal .... dare to dream ... dare to believe ... and your journey will take you to places that are hidden from you now...but are right out there waiting for you on your path. 

Carly

Super-Size Your Workout

Let's face it...

...some of us just can't do jumping jacks without giving ourselves a black eye or bruising an unsuspecting body part.

I once worked with a trainer who instructed me to clasp my hands together behind my back and bend over and reach those clasped hands behind me toward the ceiling.

I completely faked the whole move, embarrassed that I couldn't even touch my fingertips together behind my back, let alone interlock them.

The thing is, the trainer did not think about my limitations.  She had never lived in a body like mine or experienced my level of obesity.  Unfortunately, my self esteem took a hit until I gathered the courage to tell her. Only then were we able to make some modifications to get the same benefits from the move.

That got me thinking that there must be other people with the same issue. Do you ever see exercises on youtube, DVD, demonstrated by trainers, or at the gym...and you try but just can't do it (or don't try because you know you physically can't?)

There is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about.  If you carry more than a few extra pounds, chances are high you just can't do all the exercises exactly as they were designed.  And that's okay!  You can make a few adjustments and get the exact same benefit from the modified move!

This blog post is for both the trainer and the trainee, to explore ways to modify exercises and at least maybe start the dialogue together.

Here are a few examples:

The Challenge:
From losing so much weight, I have a lot of excess skin that won't go away without surgery.  I hate it, but it's just a fact of my life.  That means when I do jumping jacks, I have honestly heard skin slapping together.  I was mortified.  If that had happened at a gym or with a new personal trainer I may have never gone back.

The Solution:
Spanx. Compression bodysuits. I have purchased all in one spanx compression under garments that hold everything taut.  I can "jumping jack" my butt off and that skin isn't going anywhere.  This also solves the problems of generalized jiggling and drooping which could be embarrassing at the gym.


The Challenge:
The trainer wanted me to stand, bend one knee while reaching down to grab my foot from behind and then pull the foot up behind me to stretch the quads.  Except that I couldn't even reach my foot.  At all.

The Solution:
Grab the back of your pantleg, or the loop on the back of your workout shoes.

Alternate Solution:
The trainer can  lift your foot up toward the buttocks for you.


Those are just two quick and easy examples.

The whole point of this post is that you can't fix what you don't acknowledge.  Tell your trainer when you hit something that just doesn't work and be willing to explore alternatives.

If you are reading about moves, or watching them on DVD, pause the thing and Google for alternate ways to work the same muscle group.  There ARE alternatives.  If you can't find one, find a forum on physical therapy.  I guarantee people with injuries or therapists who work with injured people have great ideas on how to modify exercises!

Don't give up or quit because something doesn't work the first time.  In reality, just trying the exercise you'll get some benefit from it and if you stick with your program, eventually you will tackle them all!  I am doing things now that I couldn't even do 3 months ago, and that's a fact, Jumping Jack!

Carly

Well Shiver Me Timbers!

I'm strong to the finish cause I eats me Spinach ~Popeye

I have found over time that one of my absolute staples in life is spinach.

When I have a hectic week coming up, or extra demands, or a lot of physical activity, or want to be mentally sharp, or in general just want to be at my best - I make sure there is spinach in the refrigerator (and lots of it.)

It helps keep me mentally sharp (clear headed), assists in giving me energy, and helps my body process the rest of my food better.  Without knowing the scientific benefits of spinach, my empirical evidence over time shows that spinach is good for me, and helps keep me at my personal best.

I don't need "proof," but the research from the medical community, nutritionists and the food industry all agree on the proven benefits of spinach:

• Rich in vitamin K (which has been shown to bolster bone-mineral density  and therefore protect against osteoporosis and reduce fracture rates. 
• High in calcium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, and even selenium, which may help protect the liver and ward off Alzheimer's. 
• A study in the Journal of Nutrition suggests that the carotenoid neoxanthin in spinach can kill prostate cancer cells, while the beta-carotene fights colon cancer. 
• Low in calories but helps keep you full, so aids in weight loss.
• Researchers have identified more than a dozen different flavonoid compounds in spinach that function as anti-inflammatory agents.

There are many ways of getting spinach into your weekly diet, and several sites I read recommended 1 cup of cooked, or 2 cups of raw, at least 4 times per week.

I like to toss spinach into my "green" smoothies in the morning.  I use an Oscar personal blender and I will make up a couple of blender bottles with my blueberries, strawberries, 1/3 banana, 1/2 to 1 cup spinach and put the whole bottle with blender attachment into the freezer.  In the morning I just add coconut water, coconut milk, almond milk, yogurt, juice, or whatever else looks good and blend away.

There are many other ways I add spinach to my diet. I saute it with a hint of olive oil and garlic for a great side dish.  I add spinach to my turkey or tuna wraps. Try a poached egg over a bed of spinach.  It's amazing! I add it in omelets, quiches and even turkey meatloaf.

I think my favorite way of eating spinach, though, is in the following salad:

Strawberry Chicken Poppyseed Salad

- 2 cups raw spinach

- 1/4 to 1/2 cup sliced strawberries

- 2 tbsp chopped pecans (candied pecans are extra tasty)

- 1 tbsp bacon pieces

- 1/4 cup goat cheese

- 3 ot 4 oz. grilled chicken meat

- 2 tbsp poppyseed dressing

I never get tired of this salad.  If I am extra hungry I add a diced hard boiled egg as well.

I think Popeye was really onto something.  If you do nothing else this week to change your diet, find a way to add spinach 4 times during the week. Then come back and tell us what you think.  It just feels GOOD taking care of ourselves and spinach is surely one thing we can do easily to make ourselves feel better!

Carly

Not Enough Time? Really?

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein." ~H. Jackson Brown

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I am guilty.  The words have crossed my lips more than once. "I don't have the time to workout." When the reality is "I don't have the desire to work out."

We spend our time doing what we want to spend our time doing. When working out becomes a priority, we miraculously find the time for it, because we make the time for it.

Unless we own that how we spend our day is a choice, then we will feel powerless to do anything differently. What a great way to abdicate responsibility for our own health and wellness. There's no time, it's not my fault.  I call B.S.

If you are a mom who is on a school committee or two and who carts little Suzie around to 5 activities each week, leaving no time to work out, please realize, you chose to join those committees and you chose to put little Suzie into 5 activities each week.  And you can also choose to restructure your life just a tad in order to make working out work for you.  This may include dropping a committee or dropping one of Suzie's activities.  I believe making your health a priority will benefit the entire family and teaches Suzie not only to prioritize, but also how to take care of herself later in life.

If you are a dad who works 10 hour days with a long commute and lots of chores and "honey do" items every day, you can choose to give up 30, 45 or 60 minutes before bed or first thing in the morning to work out (and let something else slide to the weekend perhaps).

Actually, when you do restructure your week and make time for working out, you'll be amazed at the extra energy you will have to tackle that honey-do list, and the ability to better deal with the rest of your hectic schedule!

I have found that working out in the morning works best for me.  One a really good day, I wake up (that really IS a good day, no?), drink a coffee while checking my email, and facebook, start the blog entry (on days that I write the blog, that is), go workout, come back and drink a green smoothie while finishing up the blog, shower, and get to work. 

And despite getting up 3 hours before I have to leave for work, on the days that I actually do workout first thing, I have so much more energy and focus - I get through the days MUCH easier than on days I sleep in and don't work out.  Go figure. I also sleep much better on nights I have worked out.

My whole point is that if you want to work out - and you really will never regret working out.  (No one says, man, I wish I didn't work out!) - make a routine that works for you.  If working out right after work fits in your schedule, commit to it!  Maybe just after dinner, or just before bed?  Maybe you don't have time to get to a gym (that's okay!)  Pop in a workout DVD or hit a treadmill or just go for a walk in the neighborhood.  Jump rope in the driveway!  Do push-ups on your kitchen floor! You get the idea...you can be flexible and find a time and place to get in some physical activity.

I'm getting off my soapbox now, because I have finished the blog and am going to go workout and practice what I preach. I find that the easiest and best way for me is to hurry up and start my workout before 6 a.m. and before my body figures out what I'm doing.  :-)

Have a great day, and go do something.  Heck, do 3 sets of 20 jumping jacks right now, by your computer in between checking your facebook updates.  See!  There is time!  Do it!

Carly

The Never Fail Steps

I have a lot going on in my world, and in my mind, at all times.  I am easily distracted and it doesn't take much to get nudged off course.  It doesn't take much to dive off course, either.  Or to forget that I even HAVE a course.

(I am exploring adult ADHD and the very real likelihood that contributes to my derailability.  Yes, I made up that word.  You like? hehe)

I am starting to recognize that there are patterns to my stumbles which can lead to derailment.  I don't know which comes first - an emotional trigger or a physical one, but the same basic pattern happens:

1. I eat something that is not planned for, not healthy, and sugary, or floury, or fatty that makes me feel badly (physically or emotionally).
2. The next day it is SO easy to do it again.  Only on this day I may not work out either.
3. The next day I can't even look at a vegetable in the refrigerator.  I don't feel like fixing anything healthy.  I don't feel like chopping, dicing, preparing.  I want something easy and carb-loaded.  
4. I feel like total crap and feel myself totally slipping.  I don't want to clean the house.  I don't want to get healthy groceries.  I don't want to DO anything. I am lethargic and blah feeling.
5. I start beating myself up for my shortcomings.  I am weak.  I want to get on track but can't.  I am frustrated.  I get panicky.  The house is more cluttered.  My mind is more cluttered.  I become less "able."

And just like there are patterns to slipping in this way, there is also a "Never Fail" list of steps I can take to turn it back around.

1. Get honest about it.  Tell someone.  Be accountable.  It may not be my fault (per se) that a slip started, but only I can turn it back around and you can't fix what you don't acknowledge.  
2. Make ONE freaking next right food choice.  Period.  Make a salad.  Choose a nice egg white omelet.  Eat an apple.  Eat SPINACH.  That almost always turns the food day around for me.
3. MOVE.  Get showered, get dressed, put on shoes, and GO SOMEWHERE.  Get out of the house.  DO something.
4. EXERCISE.  There is nothing like fresh exercise to put my brain back together (kind of like unscrambling an egg, if that were possible.)
5. Do one nice thing for myself.  Maybe a pedicure, an eyebrow wax, picking up some new lip gloss...something that reminds me that I'm worth being nice to.

That's it.  That turns it around. It never fails to turn it around.  I have to FORCE myself sometimes.  I don't WANT to do those things when I feel crappy.  BUT....I know if I don't, I will feel even crappier and continue a downward spiral that leads toward total darkness.  

I have seen the light that comes from making healthy, positive next right choices.  I have enjoyed the freedom that comes with good self care and forward motion.  And I want more and more of that.  I am not willing to slip backwards,

So today, I am making myself accountable and calling it out. (Overate at a party Thursday, then had a ton of pizza Friday, ate fairly badly Saturday, and by Sunday didn't exercise and didn't eat a single healthy thing.  Also didn't go anywhere, do anything, and felt lethargic all day.)

I am working out in a few minutes.

Then I am making a nice green smoothie for breakfast...with spinach.

I am bringing in a great salad for lunch, with some apples and healthy snacks.

And I will call this a 4 day blip and not a derailment.  Because I won't let it become one.

This is not easy....and with what I believe are ADHD complications it gets even more difficult to manage.

But those never fail steps to turn it around REALLY never fail.  So no matter why I  slipped (it really doesn't matter, does it?) I have a PLAN and a prescription to keep reaching my goals.

Think about what works for you.  What turns around a "slip?"  What turns around negativity for you?  Write it down into a couple of SIMPLE steps and put it on your refrigerator or monitor or bathroom mirror.  And fall back onto it when you can't seem to get the motivation you need.

I (we) can do this.  Absofreakinglutely.  No excuses.

Nike was right.  Just do it!

Carly

Don't Wait To Start Living!

When I weighed 320+ pounds, there were a lot of things I wanted to do one day.  You know the day...that magical, amazing, perfect day on which I would arrive at my goal.  On that day I would be the right size - wearing the right clothes - with the right hair style - and everything would be blissful and....well....right.

When I started this journey I began to realize that putting off living waiting for "someday" was ruining my experience of life.  After my mom passed away last year it become even more clear that there is NOTHING to be gained putting off living today in hopes of some perfect or better future day to experience life.

This is all we have, folks.  We can only live RIGHT NOW.  

I am still moving toward my weight loss goal.  It will happen this year (yay!) but I have plenty of work ahead to get there.  In the meantime, these are a few of the things I have been doing this summer anyway:

• zip lining (yes that's me in the video above, showing the others how to zipline upside down!)
• white water rafting
• hiking (a whole lot of hiking in the Smoky Mountains)
• swimming
• wogging (walking/jogging) at some gorgeous riverfront parks
• going out on photo shoots to play with my Canon Rebel camera

Guess what.  I still have too much fat.  I have too much loose skin.  I am jiggly in places you wouldn't expect.  I still have 60 pounds left to lose. I am too heavy for some activities that have lower weight restrictions.

So what.

Maybe it's because I'm 47.  Maybe it's because I know I'm doing the best I can (even when I slip'n slide backwards and prove yet again that am not perfect.)  Maybe it's because I know all too well there is no do-over button and this is no dress rehearsal.  Maybe it's because I am so excited to have my life back as a result of all my good choices these past couple of years.  Regardless of "why" - I don't really care too much about what I look like while enjoying MY life anymore.  I don't really care if I look silly or imperfect. I owe no one an explanation and don't need to justify my right to enjoy my life on this planet.  And I certainly don't have to apologize for my existence.

What I really care about is getting out there with my son, loved ones, friends, and experiencing all that life has to offer.  My mom hung a plaque in my room when I was in high school that comes to mind now:

"I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.  He gave me life that I might enjoy all things."

Get out there.  If you're 20 pounds overweight, or 100 pounds overweight, within the limits of your abilities get out and LIVE LIFE.  Don't sit out the invitations to parties or reunions or picnics or parks.  Do what you can.  Be with your loved ones.  Enjoy the laughter, the sun, the life you have been given.

And if you make ONE next right choice toward creating the life you really want, the reward will be instant.  You'll feel instantly better about yourself and more likely to jump in and join in.  Do it.  

Your life won't wait forever.  The longer you put things off to "the future", the shorter it becomes.

Carly

xoxoxox

I Am Happy

Hero Rush, TN April 2013

This morning, I am happy.  I am actually beaming.  I think I have been for a couple of days now.  Life is
exciting me and living life and experiencing it just feels...invigorating and fun and hopeful and free.

Why?

Because I'm making my freaking next right choices, that's why.

I realized this past week that my healthy lifestyle is crossing into a new territory I have never, not once in my life, experienced before.  It is becoming......A REAL LIFESTYLE.  Automatic.  Just how I roll.  Just who I am.  Holy guacamole ..... when and how did THIS happen?  Oh yeah, one next right choice at a time!

Last Sunday I ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  (NO, I did not record it on My Fitness Pal) But I didn't feel horrible about it.  Yesterday (Friday) at the end of work my stomach felt "off" and I tried to think of what I may have eaten that triggered discomfort and as I processed through the entire week I realized I'd eaten cleanly all week long...without effort!  Without "doing without" or "fighting the urges."  It's just what I did because it's how I feel good and what makes me happy!  What the.....?

Me and my son Memorial Day 2013

I haven't written much and I want to get started again.  There's so much you don't know about what I've been up to lately!  I have been hiking the Smoky Mountains, participaing in 5k and 5mile mud runs/obstacles courses, whitewater rafting, ziplining, swimming, working out with a trainer and playing tennis.  In fact, when I get home from work I have been grabbing my son so we can go do something active - tennis or walking around The Cove (a gorgeous lakefront park and peninsula with a great walking/running path.).  I grab him to do these things - not out of obligation or guilt - and not even really for him - but because I love to be active!

My body likes being active.  I move better.  I'm less rickety and old feeling.  I have more energy.  I feel better.  I FEEL HAPPY.

Life still has all the challenges it always had.  I'm still single and not dating (what can I say, I don't get asked!), I am still a single mom of a teen boy (that certainly has its challenges!), I still have a demanding job (albeit super fun), I am still in a new state with no friends (well except a few coworkers who I have to say are amazing people...just need to get doing more with them outside of work!), I am still dealing with the loss of my mom and having an aging dad, and I still have all the responsibilities of being an adult.  Oh yeah, and I still have nearly 60 pounds to lose to make my ultimate goal.

Max Patch Bald - Appalachian Trail NC

And despite any of that...I AM HAPPY TODAY.

Starting today I am heading out of town to see old friends in Maryland, going to a conference in Washington DC this week, and then heading back home to Tennessee in time for a 10.5 mile hike to Max Patch Bald, a gorgeous spot in North Carolina on the Appalachian Trail that offers 360 views of the Smoky Mountains.  Lots of hiker reviews call this one of the top 5 places to hike.  And I am getting to do it.  How freaking cool is that?

Do you want to be happy?  I don't mean, do you want life to be perfect, because that's just not going to happen.  Being happy to me means doing what I like to do  (which is sweet freedom) and liking what I do (which is bliss!)  I spent many years trapped like a prisoner inside my body, my mind, my bad marriage, etc.  Now I am trying to catch up and live and experience all that I can...this is no dress rehearsal and there is a LOT of living to do!  And that makes me happy, too!

Just think about what you want life to look like, to be like, to feel like.  Then make some positive (simple, small) changes to get you there.  Happy is just one next right choice away.... (REALLY!)

Carly

The 1 Pound Miracle!

Last week I had an "episode."  That's going to be my new name for "pigging out on anything and everything in sight all day long as if I didn't know a thing about nutrition, didn't care, and nothing oh nothing is going to stop me."  

Yeah, one of those.

And, not surprisingly, I gained a pound.

I don't know about you, but after a day of gluttony, I feel like this, look like this, and move like this:

My stomach is hard and pushed out, my sides feel bloated, and movement is labored, tiresome, and I no longer do things like taking the stairs at work or parking farther away.  Just a day or two of derailment and I just feel all around (grammar aside for a moment...) BAD. 

Starting May 1st I kicked back into gear and have been working out every day, eating cleanly, getting plenty of water and upping my vegetable intake.

On May 3rd, I was back down a pound.  One Pound.  One marvelous, miraculous, incredible, life-altering pound.

All of a sudden, I was "all that and a bag of chips."  

I walked with my shoulders back, a little strut in my step, and could feel my muscles tightening.  I could see a healthy glow in my skin and felt athletic, fit, and ready to go.  My cellulite began to instantly fade and, if I do say so myself, I was looking pretty damned good for a 47 year old.  Something like this:

Ahhhhh the mind is an amazingly powerful (and fickle) thing, isn't it?  It just shows that a large part of who we think we are is just that...THOUGHT.  And nothing else!  I am neither extreme and Lord knows ONE POUND surely doesn't tip it in one direction or another.

And yet.....if we make the next right choice...and eat clean, and exercise, and drink water.....our thoughts project more confidence, peace, energy and a more positive self image.  When we make the opposite choice, it has the opposite effect.

That tells me, one more time, to keep making the next RIGHT choice....because that's how I get a happier, better life!

And I can do it one miracle pound at a time.  :-)

Carly

I work out and eat clean because it makes me HAPPY!

Vegan, Pasta-Free, Skinny "Spaghetti" Dinner That Tastes Good!

Nothing can get me back into blogging better than a fridge full of groceries, a whole weekend for experimenting and some free time to play with my camera. To wit...I present:  Spaghetti Dinner?  Almost!  

This is a totally vegan, pasta-free, skinny spaghetti squash dinner that "eats" like a pasta dish.  My son who is now 13 has loved this since he was little.  It's one of his favorites.

It is easy to make, has great flavor, impressive nutritional numbers, and is heathy.

Because the squash has a slightly sweet flavor; I use Classico Tomato and Basil sauce (which has no sugar) as a base so the meal is not overly sweet. To that, I added peppers, onions, mushrooms, zucchini, garlic, and veggie meatballs. The "spaghetti" is spaghetti squash tossed with a little olive oil and parmesan cheese. That's it!  

You can modify any which way you like. Use real meatballs, or veggie crumbles, or ground turkey or beef (or none of the above.) Substitute any veggies you like for the ones I chose. Spinach, summer squash, tomatoes...anything you love will work in this. I have done several different variations and they all worked out just fine.

What you need:

• spaghetti squash (I cook for just two so mine was just under a pound and a half which yielded 2 cups of squash.  For larger families, get the larger squash and adjust the recipe by increasing cooking time and cooking each half separately.)

• jar of your favorite sauce (I used Classico Tomato Basil as it only has a few ingredients, no sugar and is only 45 calories per half cup

• Veggie meatballs (I used Veggie Patch meatless fully cooked.)

• veggies of your liking.  I used:

• 1 cup sliced onions
• 1 cup sliced red and green peppers
• 1 cup mushrooms
• 1 medium zucchini, sliced and halved

• 1 tablespoon minced garlic (more if you love garlic)

• 1 tablespoon coconut oil

• 1 tablespoon olive oil

• 1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese

• 1/2 cup water

What you do:

Start by sauteing the vegetables and garlic in the coconut oil in a large sauce pan over medium heat until everything is translucent; about 10 minutes.  Add the sauce and simmer on low.  Add salt and pepper to taste; I never use either and it tastes great without it.  (Try it!)

Once that is started, cut the spaghetti squash in half lengthwise.  This is not easy to do.  It's a hard peel!  I got a cut started with a paring knife and then used my butcher's knife.  It took a little muscle to get it done.   

Clean out the seeds and fluffy stuff (stringy strands?  I don't know what you call it) from the inside of each half.

Now, some people swear by cooking this in the oven and many use the microwave by covering it with plastic wrap.  In my experience, the plastic wraps melts and that is mega unhealthy.  And I find no flavor difference, really, between the oven and the microwave.

In my method, you want one half to lay flat in a microwavable dish.  If it doesn't sit flat naturally, you can cut a little bit off the outside to make it sit flat.

Pour the water into the bottom half and put the other half on top like it is a lid.  Microwave for 10 minutes.

(While that is cooking, add the meatballs to your sauce.)

After the 10 minutes, you will know that the squash is done because the top half will no longer be hard.  Using oven mitts, gently press on both sides of the top half.  If it gives easily, the squash is done.  This is one of those things that once you do it, you'll know.

Using the oven mitt again, hold the squash on its side and scrape the insides (fluffing as you go) into a bowl.  The squash has a surprisingly spaghetti look to it.  Once you have scraped out both sides, add the olive oil and parmesan cheese and toss lightly.  

(Notice the color changes from bright yellow to a darker, translucent kind of color.  The texture should not be hard.  If it is, put it back in and microwave longer until the squash falls out easily when scraped.)

Place the spaghetti squash on the plate, place some sauce (which is pretty thick and chunky) on top with some meatballs (if you used them) and serve.  

Here's a fun tip:  Don't tell anyone what you are making in advance.  Just serve it and see what they think.  I bet they'll love it!

I'll catch you up on what's been going on tomorrow.  Lots..and it's all good!

Carly

I am eating well and working out because...I love how it feels!

One Year Ago - Good Friday

Spring in Tennessee Reminds me of Mom

Last year on Good Friday I sat with my mother in the hospital, holding her hand, while the doctor gave her
the diagnosis of inoperable, untreatable stage four lung cancer.

I can't write deeply about it yet. I will one day. She was truly an amazing woman, who layed down her life for those she loved, and she really loved most everyone. Her faith in God, her belief that people are basically good, and her determination to stay positive despite life's many difficulties is a testimony to the power of positive thinking. I am overwhelmed and in awe of her spirit and pray I can be more like her as I grow and mature (hey, it takes some of us longer than others.)  :-)

I find hope and peace knowing that on Good Friday, Jesus walked into his fate, bravely, and willingly. My mom walked out her last few weeks with an amazing grace, beauty and acceptance that I still can't quite wrap my brain around. And she believed her whole life in God's Word.

This passage means a lot to me this morning:

John 11:23-25 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”  Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies.

My mother loved to paint clouds, skies, sunsets, and landscapes. Mom, if you are up there, I hope you are using all of your mad artist skillz and painting the beautiful, gorgeous Tennessee skies I see every day. In my heart, you are.

I am taking my son on a hiking adventure this weekend, climbing to six different waterfalls. I am thankful for the health and fitness level to be able to do this.  And I am grateful to see the clouds and trees and beauty of nature through my mom's eyes.  That is just one of many gifts she gave to me.

This is one of the most profound Christian songs I have ever heard.  And it reminds me of her so much. Good Friday is not good.  It brings pain, sorrow, and sadness.  But Easter is three days away. Then the angels will rejoice.  And my mom is one of them.  xoxox

Watch "To Live Without Me" on Youtube

Carly

John 15:13
A greater love hath no man than this, that he would lay his life down for his friends.

Oooo la la Hurts So Good

Let's get you into the spirit with some mood music...Hurts So Good

Getting into bed at night hurts.
And getting out of bed hurts.
And using my legs to sit down on the toilet hurts.
And trying to stand up after tinkling hurts.
Stairs?  Ouch...thank God for handrails.
Sitting on my butt cheeks...hurts.
Coughing?  Hurts.
Sneezing?  Hurts.
Reaching for shampoo in the shower?  Hurts.

And it all HURTS SO GOOD!

The human body was designed to MOVE. The muscles and bones and fluids and cartilages'n stuff all working together in motion FEELS GOOD.

Moving makes me feel ALIVE.

Taking the stairs, parking in the farthest parking spots, FEELS GOOD. Getting on the treadmill or walking in the neighborhood FEELS GOOD.

And working with my new personal trainer, Kim?  HURTS SO GOOD!  My muscles have, get this, muscle memory (ha) and they are remembering what to do when squatting, lunging, stretching, reaching, crunching and lifting.  Go figure.

And I like being sore...because it is a gentle reminder that I am taking care of myself and doing all I can (again) to be fit and healthy.

I don't like torture, and exercising and fitness is NOT torture.  It is fun.  It feels good. AND I AM WORTH THE EFFORT.

That is all.  KEEP CALM and FITNESS ON! (I am such a dork)

Carly
I am WORKING HARD and WORKING OUT because...I LIKE IT!

p.s. stay tuned for personal trainer updates.  I like my new trainer and can't wait to share what I am learning and how it is going.......remember.  Do what works.  What works for me is GETTING HELP.

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

I KNOW what to do.  Get up and move my a$$.  That's what I have to do.

However, that seems like nothing more than a fleeting idea half the time.  When I do get up and get on the treadmill I come up with really lame excuses to hop off early.  Like "oops my iPod died.  Better go home."

The absolute most success I have had yet in reaching physical fitness milestones (not weight, but activity and ability to do stuff) was when I had Nina, my first personal trainer.  She came to my house between two and three times per week for about 6 months and I lost over 10 sizes during that time!  That's not minor.  That's some major stuff right there.

We did a little cardio, a lot of weights and plyometrics, lunges, crunches, squats, push-ups and sit-ups.  We did reps of things. Always more than I wanted to do, and more than I would have done if left to my own choices.

In fact, I have NEVER worked out as long, hard or consistently as when she came to my house.  When I went to Gold's Gym the trainer there was only for 30 minutes instead of an hour and none of them (except the last one) really knew what I was trying to accomplish or helped me along.  The last gal was pretty good, but at that time it was me who was not consistent (a lot of cancelled appointments and then my mom got ill and I cancelled entirely.)

ALL THAT SAID....tomorrow morning, I meet "Kim."  Kim is the new Nina, the new Attila,the new drill sergeant, the new task master.  She will be coming here at 6:00 a.m. initially (I hope she can come at 5:30 a.m. as we move along) and we'll go the the little fitness center here.  There are weights, a little floor space, treadmills (to warm up before she gets there) and a big tv with DVD.  Once she assesses me and my goals, we will come up with a master plan.

And then....I am going to pay her to tell me what to do!

I wish I could say I have what it takes deep down to do all this completely on my own, but I just don't.  I WANT it, but I don't HAVE it yet.  But that's why people like her exist.  To help people like me. You know I'm going to keep you posted on this one.....

Wish me luck!


Carly
I am WORKING OUT and WORKING HARD at WORKING TOWARD my goals.

Hero Rush, Here I Come!

On April 20th I will be running in the "Hero Rush" with my son near Nashville, TN:  Hero Rush (official page)

It is a 5 mile (not 5k) race with 17 obstacles.  "Fear Conquering Obstacles" they say.

On one hand, I can't wait! I participated in a Warrior Dash 5k mud run in September of last year and had a blast. In fact, it was so much fun I "thought" I would make doing mud runs a way of life. But then I sat on my butt all winter and did nothing to keep fit for doing these types of things. A torn rotator cuff (well, technically a torn supra-spinatus, but pretty similar limitations) made lifting weights, push-ups and all things P90X impossible. That doesn't explain why I didn't get on the treadmill, however.

I ran a Susan B. Komen 5K in Knoxville in October and it about killed me, even more so than the Warrior Dash because it was all straight running.

I am in much worse shape NOW than I was for either of those! TIME TO GET BUSY!

I hereby commit to everyone here, and most importantly, to myself, to get busy moving EVERY SINGLE DAY period, no excuses.  I only have 6 weeks to the Hero Rush.  That is truly NOT enough time! Which means every day REALLY counts!

So an hour on the treadmill or outside with my son every day has to happen. And some weight training, squats, lunges, and the P90X plyometrics.  If I don't do these things I'll never make the Hero Rush, and while I don't care about looking like a great athlete out there, I do care very much about not being able to finish or not complete the obstacles.

Here are some pics from the Warrior Dash. I still get a huge smile looking at these. If you have never done a mud run or obstacle course as an adult, I HIGHLY encourage you to try one. SO much fun and the sense of accomplishment is huge. It injects you with a mega dose of LIFE and ZEST and a high like no other.

~Carly
"I am fit, active, healthy, and enjoying life." (AND EXERCISING EVERY DAY!)

How To Plan: Helpful Planning Tips

I thought I'd take the time to share with you today on the topic of planning.  How to develop a detailed plan, how to research the plan  how to plan your steps and how to execute the plan   Yes, today, you will be the great beneficiaries of a lifetime collection of tips and tricks to successful planning  

I shall call this "How to Plan instead of WINGING it, by Carly"

Ready ?  Here are my proven nuggets of planning wisdom, as lived by Carly, in no particular order:


















Any questions?

:-)

~Carly
"I am fit, active, healthy, and enjoying life."

Adore The Core

Okay, so the title today is hokey.  That's how I roll.

Everyone hears the buzz about "core training" and "core strength" and "you gotta work your core." Back in 6th grade during the early years of the President's fitness challenges, we called that "doing sit ups." I was the female sit-up champion for our elementary school in 1976 for what that's worth.

Anyway, when I used to think of "core training" I would automatically visualize "flat abs that I will never have." I would think of "bikinis that I will never wear" and didn't really see the point in worrying about my "core." And then I got schooled.

Core strength includes the abs, but not just the abs. Building up the core includes strengthening the glutes, the abs, the obliques (side muscles) and, even deeper, the muscles that support the spine. A strong core helps you sit, stand, walk, lift, move.....in fact, it helps all your motion every day. Furthermore, it creates a solid foundation for other forms of exercise to use your muscles more efficiently and in better form.

Further-furthermore, as we age a strong core can help with mobility and independence. I like the idea of being mobile and healthy when I am a Golden Girl. (Blanche or Dorothy, I haven't decided.) The time for me to strengthen my core is not when I am 70 years old. It is much more realistic and favorable to strengthen my core now, and work to maintain that into my golden years (you know, many decades from now.)

I have slacked off on doing any core exercises because of a torn rotator cuff (more specifically a torn supra-spinatus) which means I can't put weight on that shoulder. This makes doing core work difficult. But today I am going to research ways around that.

In the meantime, here are just a few good core exercises I was doing regularly (most taught to me by my personal trainer two years ago). We even did these at my last job as part of our hourly exercise break. They don't take long, but they do make a difference in agility, mobility, overall strength and ability to perform many other exercises and activities  I highly recommend you spend a little time every day or every other day working your core. You'll be happy you did.


Plank Exercise

V-Sit Ups

Back Bridge

~Carly
"I am fit, active, healthy, and enjoying life."