A Scale Tale

Once upon a time, I hated scales.  In fact, I avoided them for years at a time!  Why on earth, when I wasn't ready to do anything about it (and really, probably couldn't do anything about it at the time), would I want the details of how bad it was?  Heck no!  I was the queen of denial and I didn't even OWN a scale until last year.





Then there came a point when the reality smacked me in the face.  You can't fix what you don't acknowledge.  Sort of like this:








Then I started doing what I call scale gymnastics.  That's where you figure out the absolute best way to stand on the scale to yield the lowest possible number.  Instead of standing directly on it, if I could shift my weight a little to the right, and turn my right foot on a slight angle, while putting the tippy toes of my left foot up against the window where the numbers were, the number would always be less!  YAY!  So on weeks where I didn't eat right, or exercise well, it was no big problem.  I could just do some scale gymnastics and VOILA, I lost a pound!  woohoo!!

Now, I'm at peace with the scale.  If I do my part, the scale reflects my next right choices.  If I have an off week, or month, well, the scale is just reporting the consequence of those choices, too.  It's all good.  I guess because I accept that there will be good days/weeks/months and sometimes not-so-good ones, the scale is no longer something to avoid.

And just to toot my own horn a bit...it's down 5 pounds from last week.  I really feel like (and know) I'm back on track and moving forward again.  YAY!

♥

Core Strength

"The turning point in the process of growing up
is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt."

Max Lerner

"Core Strength" is all the buzz these days. What I'm learning in the world of fitness, it's all about strengthening the core of the human body - the abs and back muscles that are so deep they attach to the spine and pelvis. It is the foundation from which all other movement occurs; it is the physical center of a person's body. When the core is strong, everything else works much better, easier, with less effort or struggle.

Before I could get to a place where I could even consider working on my core physical strength, I had to first examine my core emotional and spiritual strength.



The Emotional Core

My emotional core was severely damaged at a very young age due to some life trauma.

I spent a lifetime feeling "less than" everyone else. I wasn't good, I wasn't good enough. At my core was shame. I couldn't seem to do or be enough to satisfy my inner longing to be accepted and loved. I looked outside for external validation for everything from how smart I was, to how I looked, to how funny I was, to the kind of job I had. I needed someone outside of myself to tell me I was okay, and sadly, even if they did tell me that, at my core, I did not believe them.

The core belief that I was "less than" led me to accept "less than" in my marriage(s). It led me to accept "less than" my dreams. It led me to accept "less than" living up to the potential I was created to reach. Fortunately for me, a friend came into my life that helped debunk those core beliefs.

She loved me. She didn't love me IF I looked, acted, behaved, performed a certain way. She didn't love me despite all my inherent badness (that I thought I had.) She didn't love me IF I loved her back a certain way. She didn't love me conditionally IF I met her needs, jumped through hoops, and met some certain standard. She just loved me and said, "I love who you are. Period. It has nothing to do with any choice you have ever made or will ever make on any given day." And somehow that reached deep into the core of my being and broke something loose. I believed her.

That one conversation opened up the floodgates to another area in my life.



The Spiritual Core

I was raised Catholic. I still love many of the traditions of Catholicism and although I no longer call myself Catholic, there is a tremendous respect I have for the religion. However, at least in my case, I never really understood the concepts of "grace" or "mercy" fully. To me, the message I received was that all humans are bad, miserable failures, there's not a thing we can do about it, but we better keep trying. When we screw up, we must do penance, repent, and try hard to not do it again, only to know deep down we are miserable sinners who are going to fail. But have no fear, despite our inherent badness, God loves us anyway.

Whether intentional or not, or whether my own mind played a part in the interpretation, that is the basic message I spent my life believing.

Now, after understanding the grace and mercy of a friend, I began to understand God's grace and God's mercy. Through the love of a friend, I suddenly realized that right now, today, exactly where I am, regardless of anything I did or said or that happened to me yesterday, I am perfectly loved. I realized that all these imperfections are part of the perfect plan! I had a clean slate. Yesterday was really, truly gone and there was no need whatsoever to worry about it. Today, I am good, good enough, and there was absolutely no reason to carry around all that shame. There's a song I love that expresses it so well:






The Next Right Choice - MY Core

Slowly, over the past few years, I have been moving toward an incredible new life. New thoughts, new patterns of behaving, new friends, a new house, a new town. I even got a new job. It feels like the past is very far behind me now.

But what else is true is that the core of shame is not entirely gone. It hangs around, lurking, waiting for an opportunity to jump in and take over my thoughts and feelings.

Through some trial and error, however, I have come to understand that it is entirely within my power to keep it at bay and to keep myself moving forward into the life I have always wanted. And it all comes down to making the "Next Right Choice" today.

• For today, I choose to walk by faith, because for me, that is what works. Because when I am plugged in to my spiritual self, I am stronger. My core is filled with hope, strength, life and light.

• For today, I choose to try to eat healthy. Because when my core food choices are healthy, it creates a foundation from which my mind makes better choices and on which my body can function with more energy.

• For today, I choose to get moving. I work the abs, the back, the legs, the arms, and the heart. Because when at my core there is a stronger body, I can move better throughout the day. I have energy to keep going and do all those things I want to do. I can carry myself out into the world, explore it, and participate in it...fully.

Conclusion

If you ask me, core strength is pretty darned important! I encourage everyone to examine their core beliefs about themselves, their core beliefs about their spiritual lives, and to act consistently with what rings true for you. Living authentically, being true to who you are, and not letting the world rob you of your Self...now THAT is Core Strength!






♥

Motivation

From August through October the biggest problem I faced was a complete lack of motivation. I lost focus after the family and high school reunions and didn't really have any big goals to focus on.

In turn, I slowly stopped exercising, stopped blogging, got incredibly messy with my food choices, and started to get depressed.    Slipping off into isolation made it worse. A little cause-and-effect action there? Yeah, I'd say so.

So now it appears that I have my mojo back.  I want to stop and look at what it took to get it back, and think about how I'm going to KEEP it going.

To get back on track, I had to admit how bad it was.  I had to come to grips with the reality that not only had I not lost a single pound since June, I had actually gained 18 pounds.  (That's right, 18.)  That hurt.  Even as I looked at the scale, I kept saying "wow, I gained a couple of pounds."  I didn't do the math.  It was 18 pounds.

Then I had to forgive myself and say it's okay, at least it wasn't like previous attempts where I'd fall off the program and keep on gaining until I'd gained it all back and then some.  I caught it in time for it to just be a slip and not a full blown relapse into the old patterns.  (This forgiving myself and accepting that life happens is HUGE in overcoming a roadblock.  Remembering I can hop back on track at any point of any day and leave the past behind me is critical.  I can't move freely into tomorrow if I'm trying to drag yesterday in with me!)

Next, I had to end the isolation.  One fact of my life is that I lack the motivation to consistently push myself physically without some sort of accountability.   Blogging helps tremendously.  Putting this all out there publicly most certainly keeps me accountable to someone besides myself.

I got a trainer - someone knowledgeable who can make sure I work out all the muscle groups and not just the parts that feel good, that I like best, or where I'm strongest.  This is someone who's going to say, "keep going, you have one more minute" when I feel like saying "that's ALL I can do."  This is someone who says, "You can do one more" when I say I want to quit.  And I'm just stubborn enough to prove him right.  :-)

I got a workout partner.  I meet my friend at the gym on trainer days and we work out for 30 minutes before I meet with the trainer (so far I'm doing some cardio and warmups during that time.)  Then on days when I don't meet with the trainer, we meet either at the gym or at my home to work abs, core, and practice techniques.

These things so far have picked me back up and got me moving again.

What's going to KEEP me going forward and motivated?  Here are some thoughts, let's see how they pan out:

1. Focus on how far I've come, not how far I have to go.  There's still a long journey ahead and that gets so flipping depressing sometimes.  If I instead look at where I started in this journey, and all I have overcome to get where I am, I get a little energized to help tackle today.
2. Focus on today.  I don't have to worry about all of this week, next week, next month.  If I do the "next right choice" JUST for today (am I doing cardio? weights? toning?  Ok...then just do it) it's easily managed.
3. Find a goal and reward system that works.  On weight watchers they give silly little stars on your profile when you lose 5 lbs. or reach some other preset milestone.  That doesn't motivate me.  Buying myself a new outfit when I reach a new size down DOES motivate me.  Thinking about losing another dress size motivates me.  And thinking about seeing folks next spring when I'm unrecognizable motivates me.  So I need to make travel plans for the spring and show off what will be the new me, right?  I think I'm going to start Googling for where I shall travel next year.  That will motivate me.
4. Music motivates me.  I need to create good playlists to take with me to the gym.  While I LOVE my Avett Brothers, I need new playlists that keep it fresh and can be changed depending on types of workouts or the mood I'm in.  That will give me something to work on when I'm not at the gym, but still thinking about my good choices.  And to say I love music is an understatement.  Discovering new bands is a favorite pastime!
5. "Just Do It."  Nike got it right.  No matter what, I need to JUST. Do. It.  I have never left the gym or gotten off the treadmill saying "man, I wish I didn't work out today."  Duh.  I ALWAYS am glad I did it and (and this is the most important part) I LOVE HOW I FEEL WHEN I DO IT.  I have to focus on the fact that "Just Doing It" FEELS BETTER than not doing it!

So I'm going to tag this post with "Motivation" and come find it when I'm lacking motivation.  I have to tell you, my trainer keeps trying to motivate me saying "Just think of the bikini this summer."  LOL It makes me laugh on the inside.  I'm 45 and have never worn a bikini, have no desire to wear one, and am pretty sure no one else would want me to. 

 I'll need to work with him to come up without something that is truly motivating.  Something like... "Think of the CRUISE you're going to treat yourself with when you reach your goal......"

;-)

I Pick Things Up, I Put Them Down

Well, I've done it. I've dragged my plateau'd derriere over to Gold's Gym, and gotten myself a trainer named Danny.

When you're making these life goals, and if you really want them badly enough, then:

1. You're going to set yourself up to SUCCEED, and
2. You're going to do whatever it takes to make it work.

When I first signed up, Golds, via Compel Fitness, signed me up with a young trainer who had issues with being on time, which morphed into issues with showing up at all. I was upset, there was no one else available in the time slots I needed and I was about to demand a refund when they suggested there may be another trainer in the pipeline.

I held on and decided I was worth figuring all this out. I simply cannot motivate myself without a trainer. I do not know why. I'm a smart girl. I want this...the fitness...the weight loss....BAD! And yet, given the choice between sitting on my arse watching X Factor or watching it while on the treadmill, I choose being a couch cushion warmer. So folks like me need to pay to be told to move. So be it. It is what it is.

I'll tell you about my new trainer. HE ROCKS. He gets me! He knows I'm motivated and knows we're in this together. On days that we don't meet, he has written instructions on what I should be doing. He asks me questions like "Is there anything you need to confess?" hahaha (like the Chocolate Cake I made last weekend. Shhhhhhhh.)

He's killing me already, and I love it. LOVE. IT.

Yesterday he had me doing arm exercises to a point where I was literally shaking. He said, "That's it...you want to work to the point of failure." I busted out laughing and said, "then we may as well just call it a day, I'm already there!" :-) He actually meant you have to overwork the muscle until IT fails/tears...but you know, I'm a smart allack...

Anyway, I'm on the move. I'm feeling like I'm really back on track. The food is good (clean, accounted for, healthy), and I'm doing some form of exercise every day (even if it's just stretching some days). I have an awesome workout partner (my ex's other ex, but that's a whole 'nuther story hehe) and we're really committed.

I used to think a gym was filled with mostly guys like this youtube video:

But that's just not so.  There's just a bunch of people doing the best they can to either get in shape, or stay in shape.  So if they are 110 pounds and too thin, or 330 pounds and overweight, it doesn't matter.  They share the same goal.  And I noticed most people are too busy doing their own thing to worry about the gal with the thunder thighs next to them (me hehe).

So for the next 6 months, me and Gold's will be getting up close and personal.  And I'll have to come back and tell you more about my trainer.  Maybe he won't mind a picture (so he and I can do before/afters for this phase of my Carly Project!)

~Carly ♥



If you are getting this in email, you won't be able to see the youtube video so you'll have to come to the site to see it (link is down at the bottom.)

Universal Sucking

This funk of mine just doesn't want to go away. Mind you, the best thing I can DO to get OUT of a funk, is to GET UP, and GET OUT, and MOVE, and take ACTION and leave the funk behind.

Still, there's absolutely no point in experiencing a funk if I can't over-analyze it and then broadcast my funk findings, right? :-)

Whilst sitting around in this funk yesterday (eating, not exercising, have a right jolly old pity party, complete with nostalgic music to make me homesick for a past I can never go home to, you know, greatly enhancing the funk drama), I found myself feeling like I got the short end of life's stick in so many ways.

Poor me; no man has ever loved me. (I can assure you the two men, who claimed to, did not, in fact, actually love me. Love doesn't brutalize. Just saying.) Anyway....Poor me, I've been doing life alone for 7 years with no family in the state. Poor me, I have a long commute. Poor me, being a single mom everything lands on my shoulders alone and it's so much responsibility. Poor me, my house is a 1947 home that needs everything replaced. Poor me....you get the idea.

I tried to make myself cry. I put on Linda Ronstadt's "Somewhere Out There" and then laughed at the Youtube video. What a dorky haircut and cheesy song (I like cheesy though.)

Then I Googled poetry for sad, lonely, loneliness, aloneness, being alone, blah blah blah. I thought most of the poetry I was reading kind of stunk and it didn't make me cry, either. (Mind you, when I wasn't TRYING to cry, several tear ducts opened wide up and released some tears...well I needed that in order to clean out those ducts...I tend to hold tears in for months at a time.)

Right. So then I somehow got thinking, "This sucks." You know, all of it. It just sucks. Being human. Doing life. Going through all the motions. Making choices, hitting brick walls, backing up, making other choices, hitting more brick walls, rinse, repeat.

Then I asked myself "Who DOESN'T it suck for?"

Hmmmmm. Now THAT was a good question that started to turn my day around. I thought...

Well, it sucks for black people having to overcome SO MUCH hatred. It sucks for immigrants trying to come here and find a better life, leaving their families behind. It sucks for women, not making as much as men and having SO MUCH responsibility. It sucks for men, always having to "be strong" in stereotypical he-man fashion. It sucks for Native Americans. I mean, come on, we invaded their land, killed whole populations, and took over like we owned the place. And then took ownership! It sucks for people with learning and physical disabilities. It sucks for poor people with not enough to eat. It sucks for rich people who can't handle because someone always did everything for them. It sucks for famous people who can never go out on the street without being recognized. It sucks for Obama having half the globe hate you. It sucks worse for Bush having 3/4 of the globe hate you. That was a sobering thought...it even sucks to be President sometimes.

And it occurred to me, that this entire planet, the cold, hard world, is filled with Universal Sucking.

And our job is to do what we can to make it less sucky, one little choice at a time. And that first choice can be in how we choose to look at things. Hopeful, or hopeless. That's really what it all comes down to for me at any given moment.

Today? Today I am hopeful. I am hopeful that having all these goals means something. I am hopeful that forging ahead, making myself be strong, forcing myself to keep going in a forward motion....will impact my son and he will incorporate these lessons into his toolbox for life.

Maybe there isn't really Universal Sucking. Maybe there is Universal humanity and we get to choose if it sucks or not. I like that a lot. (Of course, I already knew it. Sometimes I need to be reminded of the same things DAILY. That's why affirmations work so well!)

So there. Funk Day is over and it apparently wasn't a total waste of time! Yay!

♥

MIA Update

I'd like to apologize for being missing in action for so long.  I had been at a stand still for so long, and even though I have ideas rattling around in my brain all the time for my blog, I haven't felt like blogging.  In fact, I've almost dreaded it.

You see, I love to share the good stuff.  When I'm kicking butt, moving right along, making great headway in life it seems like life is so sun-shiney and good.that I can radiate rainbows from my derriere,   Who wouldn't want to share all that energy and positivity?

On the other hand, when I'm being what I deem "mediocre", I slip silently away hoping to not be seen or heard, wanting to fade into the woodwork.  I do not like BEING blah, so I really don't like TALKING about being blah.  Still, BLAH is a part of the human condition and I need to share the whole process, not just the bits and pieces that make me look best. :)

For now, I'll post a couple of new before/after pics.  I have been back on track for a little while now and am just about the same weight I was in June.  I consider that a victory considering in the past I'd gain back everything I lost and then some.  This time it's different.  This time nothing is going to keep me from living the life I can have - being healthy, fit, and happy.

I have a lot to say...about personal trainers, about making worthy realistic goals, and next right choices.

Blogging is a next right choice, even if it seems like a chore lately. What it does is keep me accountable, and for some reason, people like me...we need that. :-)

Grocery Tip #3

My local neighborhood grocery store went out of business on the 4th of July and I have been trying different stores trying to find my new "home" store.  I went to two different Shoppers Food Warehouses, an International store down the road, a Food Lion and a Safeway.  None felt like "home.

I went recently to Giant Foods, however, and was pretty blown away. The first thing of note was that hey have an optional hand-carried scanner that can you can take with you in the grocery store.  You grab some bags, your "wand" and head out.

As you find things you want, you scan them into the device and then put them in your grocery bag.  If you have produce or salad bar, there are scales everywhere.  You press a button to indicate which item you are buying and it prints out a label with bar code which you can scan and then stick on the item.  So entirely cool!

Down side:  It can be a little cumbersome and it can feel a little time consuming as you weigh produce or scan and bag as you go.

Up side: Because you are really taking your time and thinking about each purchase, you are really considering if you want the item or not.  Also, you get a running total as you go, which makes you completely aware of how it's adding up.  Best part?  Sail right through the check-out (self checkout) because you just point your scanner at a barcode, it reads the info from your handheld device, you pay and leave.  The scanning and bagging's already done!  Love it.

I ordinarily spend over $200 at the grocery store.  (I know - that sounds so bad but healthy isn't cheap!!!)  But at Giant I spent only $129 and got most of what I needed, without a bunch of stuff I didn't need!  If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it.

Giant Foods had a great variety of everything I was looking for.  There were a lot of organics mixed in with everything else as well as an entire long natural, whole foods and/or organic aisle.  I was pretty impressed.

They also have the peapod service where you can order online and get the groceries delivered right to your door.  I've done that in the past - their produce was always very fresh and good (compared to Safeway delivery.  I swear Safeway hand picked everything that was about to go bad or that the public wouldn't buy and stuffed it into the delivery orders.  Ack!)

So if I was rating with a star system, 1 star being "bad" and 5 stars being "great," Giant would get 4.5 stars from me.  It's VERY consumer-friendly, affordable (wait, there are no groceries that are affordable these days), good quality and the store was impeccably clean.  Yay Giant!

A Chill Is In The Air

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.  
                                                              ~Stanley Horowitz


This is the first day that really feels like autumn. I LOVE IT. It's 58 degrees and there is a dry, crisp feel in the air. A perfect day for snuggling up with a soft blanket and a good book or movie. Too bad I've been working all day! But the season is young and I've got big plans for this fall!


I cooked chicken yesterday in the crock pot. It was SO good this time. Just onions on the bottom, chicken stuffed with a halved lemon, no additional liquid, and roasting on low for 5-6 hours. Mmmmmm fall off the bone goodness. There was quite a bit left over.


This morning I decided to use the leftover chicken for soup. Too bad I didn't think of it yesterday before I threw out all that stock! Still, I've so seldom made soup I didn't even really know what to do. So I did what any self respecting slug would do and just made it up as I went along rather than Googling for a recipe. :-)

I put in just the leftover chicken, shredded, about 6 cups of organic chicken stock, a 16 oz. bag of frozen vegetables, two handfuls of tri-colored pasta twists and salt and pepper. It cooked for hours in the crock pot. The pasta fell apart but that only made it extra thick which I happened to like.


Mmmm, mmmm, good! (Wait, that's already taken. Shoot. How about "yum?")


I'm so proud of myself. I cook almost everything from scratch these days and it's healthy, mostly organic, and tastier than all the highly processed stuff. There was a time when I could barely get myself to the grocery store and most of the basket was precooked, frozen dinners, highly processed microwavable things.


I want to come back and blog a little about the process from there to here. It wasn't a direct line. It was definitely a zig-zagged line and it required fixing a lot of other things along the way. And of course, there's still much work to do on Project Carly. :-)


Enjoy your fall weekend! Back to work for me....with soup in the ready!


♥

Push up O'Clock

Yesterday I started back on the road to a fitter, healthier me.  The detour wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  When I got on the scale, it was 254.  I thought it was going to be much higher. Whew.  Still, that set me back to mid-June before all my travels and vacations and that's a little sad.  I have to remember that any time I have derailed in the past, it set me back decades.  So this is most definitely progress.

The key components to my getting on track have to include:

• Eating healthy, whole, and whenever possible, organic foods
• Eating appropriate quantities of foods
• Reducing or eliminating processed foods
• Doing some form of aerobic workout (treadmill, biking, etc.)
• Doing some weight training
• Doing some toning exercises

My food is pretty much in check and I've gotten back into recording what I eat on my Weight Watchers tracker.  Accountability like that is important for someone like me who can delude herself rather easily.  I have not started the aerobics.  I keep having a panicky "I MUST do this" or "I HAVE to" feeling, which somehow paralyzes me.  I'll work through that, but in the meantime, at least some toning and resistance exercise is occurring.  

This exercise is in the form of "Push-up O'Clock."

At the top of every hour, all my coworkers and I get together and do just a couple minutes of some form of exercise, such as:

• As many push-ups as we can
• As many sit-ups as we can
• Push-ups against the wall
• Squats
• Lunges
• Crunches
• Anything else someone comes up with

We did this all day yesterday, and after just one little day I have somehow managed to make every part of my body a little bit sore.  I'm GLAD!  This actually feels good and is a reminder that I'm doing something good for my body.  Yay!

I'm going to continue the push-up o'clocks and enjoy the results (my shoulders will start to be sculpted again...doing various kinds of push-ups are awesome for the shoulders!)  

I may have to alter the schedule a little though.  Because 3:00 p.m. has been my choco'clock for months.  I grab a square or two of 72% or greater dark chocolate and a cup of coffee as my daily reward for all my healthy choices. And if I'm going to get back into the swing of things, I'm not willing to give up the rewards.  So after a moment of consideration, I have decided choco'clock will be at 3:30 pm.  Done and done.

Grab folks at your office and get them doing push-up o'clock with you!  I bet they'll love it and you'll get pretty quick rewards.  If you try it, let me know!!!

♥

Abandonment, Someday and Me.

I think we all have fears of abandonment to some degree.  We may have even experienced some form of abandonment:  a life partner leaving us, a parent passing away, having a best friend stop liking us and then fade into silence are all examples of abandonment and it's not a fun process to go through.

However, I think the worst type of abandonment I have ever had to deal with is when I have walked out on myself.  The times I have abandoned my own dreams, turned my back on my goals, and allowed myself to slip into the "someday" mentality.  You know what I'm talking about.  You're not fully alive and not fully embracing today because you're waiting for that elusive "someday" to arrive: 

• I'm going to lose weight someday.
• I'm going to work on my education someday.
• Someday I'd like to write a book.

There are also derivative variants of "someday," like:

• One of these days I'm going to start exercising again.
• After summer I'm going to start jogging again.
• Next month I want to......

They are all vague, impossible-to-pin-down times that aren't assigned an actual start date and therefore can keep getting pushed further and further away.

That's where my whole "makeover" went since June.  "After this trip" "After this vacation"  "After I deal with this funeral" "One of these days I'm going to get back on the plan."

Well, skaroo that.  I have "someday'ed" myself right up the scale.  I can't tell you how much I have gained, because I was putting off getting on the scale until 'someday' when I was back on track! 

This morning, I woke up with one thought screaming in my head:

• Today, I got up and made a fantastic green smoothie with spinach and greek yogurt and fresh fruits.
• Today, I have been doing "pushup o'clock" or "lunge oclock" all day at work.  Every hour, on the hour, I have been moving and squatting and lunging.  And I will continue to do that at the top of each hour...all day...today.
• Today, I am having a dark leafy green salad with salmon for lunch and if I get hungry later today, I am having some organic oatmeal with raisins.
• Today, when I get home, I am facing my fears and getting on the scale.  You can't fix what you don't acknowledge, right?
• And NO MATTER WHAT, today I am getting my arse back on that treadmill.

I'm not going to abandon myself, my dreams, my goals.  I matter.  I'm worth the effort.  This isn't a dress rehearsal.  We can't live in "someday" or even "tomorrow."  All we have is today, and I want to live it.

Who's with me?

♥

Fall Cleaning

It's September 2, 2011 and I have a confession.

I haven't worked out, at all, not even once, since about July 20th.  That's nearly 8 weeks.  Egads, that's bad!

My weight loss is at an absolute standstill.

I have started back "clean eating" again.  I'm tracking everything I eat on Weight Watcher's online tracking tool, I'm making sure I eat plenty of dark leafy green veggies.  I'm going super low on the grains and minding my portions.  After just a few days back on my game, I can feel a noticable difference.  My son could tell you I'm less of a bee-otch also.  That's a fact.

But.....

I have to start moving again.  I hopped up on the treadmill just to get reacquainted with it and work my way back.  I didn't actually use the treadmill.  I just stood on it barefooted and kind of groped at the buttons and handles and such.  It felt like a start.  I keep saying "if I could only just do 10 minutes today, I'd be happy" or "I'm going to do 10 minutes today, no matter what."  And then.....I do not do it.

In fairness to me (it's my blog, I get to be fair to me!) we're in the midst of all-new schedules and adjusting to that.  I used to get up at 5, eat protein, drink coffee, wake up, do laundry if I needed it that day, then start exercising at 5:45 until 7 am.  Then I'd shower, get ready for work, drop my son off at elementary school by 8:30 and head to my work.

Now?  He gets dropped off at 6:55 a.m. at the latest for middle school.  I have lost a full 90 minutes of my morning!  AND I'm taking a college class that requires 2 to 3 hours per day of reading/participating online, etc.  Frankly, I'm drowning under the weight of things at the moment.

Ironically, I know that if I start exercising regularly, I will have more energy and clarity for dealing with everything.  Such a catch 22.  But as I discovered with the eating...I can come back around and psychoanalyze the "whys" later.  For now, I just need to take action and do it.  I'll report back as a comment on this post when I actually get up on that treadmill and walk!

Why Water The Weeds?

It doesn't take an expert gardener to realize that my garden is just a wee bit overgrown and could use some major weeding.

I've been gone most of the summer and with what little time resources I have, I've been doing other trivial things - like paying bills, cooking, cleaning, school shopping, working, etc. I don't feel terribly badly about it, but looking at the flower beds, something kind of profound hit me.

All summer the sprinkler was set to water everything in the back all at once.  It was the easiest way to make sure everything got wet.  And of course, "everything" included the weeds.  Look at 'em.  They're thriving as they choke out my flowers.  Heck you can barely even see the flowers as the weeds are totally taking over.

And as I looked at how the weeds were thriving, it occurred to me:  Don't Water The Weeds!

What grows?  That which you invest your time in, pay attention to, nurture, and nourish.  Hmmmm.

I have limited time, money, energy and stamina.  I need to focus my limited resources where they are going to make the best possible impact in my life, and in my son's life.  I need to take a look at where I am putting my time, money and energy.  Am I mindlessly "watering the weeds?"  Heck yeah!

I'm not saying that every minute of every day needs to be spent on task, working toward a specific goal.  But I can demonstrate whole days that blew by me whilst Googling and learning all about interesting yet  useless information, or flinging angry birds across the screen, or hitting refresh 100 times to see if someone responded to my fascinating facebook post.  In other words, I have been, at times, watering the weeds.

The same can be said of relationships.  Am I watering and feeding the healthy ones?  I'm not sure that I am.  I know for certain I have invested some of my limited time and resources on relationships that do not add to my life, do not nourish me, and do not bring me closer to peace, happiness or a better place.  And instead of letting them go, I think that by adding enough water they'll stop being weeds and turn into flowers.  I'm not a botanist, but I don't think it scientifically works that way.

Well, moving forward, I want to be more aware of how I am spending my time, my finances, my energy and my heart.  I want to do a little more weeding and make better choices in my Life's Garden. I want to kind of map it out.  See what I have, what I should take care of, what I need to weed out, and become more aware of how I'm spending my resources.  That leads right into planning and goal setting, which I will save for another day.  For today, I'm going to just be mindful of how I am spending my time and money, because you can't fix what you don't acknowledge and you can't acknowledge what you don't even allow yourself to see!

And what I see is the makings of a beautiful garden, if I pay attention to what I'm doing!  :-)

Behind The Scenes

"People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved."

     ~Anne Sullivan


Not that long ago, a reader sent me an email letting me know I was inspiring him in a couple of areas.  (Thank you for that feedback - I really do love hearing that!)  After a couple of exchanges, the person seemed shocked to learn that I work full time and have a 45 minute commute each way.  His comment was something like "whoa - you do all this - write the blog, work out, take care of a son, run the household, pay the bills, take care of the house, etc. AND you work a full time job?  Seriously?  I had NO idea!"  He went on to say he was even more impressed.

The whole exchange really got me thinking.

What DO people know about me?  What DO they see?  What about the folks who knew me in high school but skipped over the whole adult years until recently?  What about those who saw me walk through some pretty torturous periods in my life - the "all time low" times?  What do THEY see when they look at me, my progress, my journey?

I know for certain there are some people who look my way and think "well, easy for HER.  She's got it together and has the kind of personality that is organized enough to do all of that."  What they don't see is what it took to get this far, and the sometimes halting, debilitating, painful steps I still sometimes need to take to get to the next leg of the journey.  And believe me, there are many of THOSE steps!

I really want to come back around to this topic over the next couple of weeks.  But for right now, I'm in the middle of climbing out of one of those painful, halting, debilitating places and have to focus on just the basics:  Food, shelter, job.  What are the minimum requirements moving forward immediately to get me to higher ground?

1. What I eat must be "clean" and nutritious.  I have been eating so much junk and you really ARE what you eat.  I have felt horrid, depressed and unable to make good "next right" choices.  So I have to commit to eating choices that I know will offer nutrients, vitamins, energy and a positive impact on me.  So far today, so good. 
2. I have to get moving.  Even if I just commit to 10 minutes on the treadmill, I will feel better instantly.  I know this.  Yet I have resisted since I got back from all my travels.  I can't ignore this anymore.  Just 10 minutes between now and bedtime tonight.  No matter what.
3. If 1 and 2 above are in place, I will have much more clarity to focus on the rest of the "musts."  I have many "musts" that have to be taken care of:  Of course, my job must stay a priority.  I am also enrolled in college and the classes aren't going to care the this whole hurricane business derailed me or debilitated me.  They are going to care that my homework is done and I am participating.  So this is a MUST, no matter what.  And the whole mothering, cooking, carpooling, pta stuff looms overhead.  I'll just need to look each night at what MUST be done the next day, keep it simple, make a list, do it, and keep moving.

I think I'm moving in the right direct again after a slight derailing.  At least my MIND is moving in the right direction today.  I really do believe that if I do #1 and #2 above well, the rest of me will follow quite aptly again.  It's all related.  And it starts with recommitting to the belief that I'm worth the effort.


I want people reading this to see, and to know, that not all the steps are easy.  Not all the choices are easy.  walking the walk is infinitely harder than talking the talk.  Life knocks me over.  Dealing with the hurricane on the heels of a whirlwind of travel and being out of my routines knocked me on my butt.

I read a quote today (don't know who to attribute it to) that speaks to this whole blog today:

"Circumstances don't make you, they reveal you. How you respond to the life God offers you is what makes you."

 It all comes down to choices.  I'd like to choose wisely. If I eat healthy and exercise, I seem to make MUCH wiser choices.

The Aftermath (Hurricane Irene)

Warning:  This might end up being a really long blog entry as I feel like I'm working through many mixed feelings.

Like the entire east coast of the US, I just experienced hurricane Irene - the warnings leading up to the storm, the advance preparation, the storm itself and the 'aftermath.'    I can't go in to work today as our phones are out and we're teleworking.  And I'm finding myself having a strong delayed reaction to the past several days.

To help organize my thoughts, I'm going to break them into 3 sections:

• The Storm
• The Background
• The Aftermath

The Storm

Hurricane Irene rolling in Friday night at mi casa

I spent a lot of time before the storm hit researching about it.  I googled and found the Maryland emergency management site.  I watched the Weather Channel 24/7.  All reports showed that the storm of our lifetime was coming.  Maryland Emergency Management stated that everyone east of Frederick, MD should put plywood on their windows, and do all the other preparations.

I am a single mom with my nearest relatives several states away.  That makes me solely responsible for the welfare of me and my son, as well as my home.

Yes, I taped the windows.

I own a 1947 house with a roof that already leaks.  Ironically I had an appointment Saturday as Irene was rolling in to get a price on a new roof.  I have several large trees around the house.  I bought 14 gallons of water.  I had dry ice and block ice in the cooler anticipating the widespread power outages. I bought plenty of non perishable foods as well as fruits/veggies that are 'ready to eat.'  I made sure the propane tanks were turned off.  I bought rope and tied down the grill and patio furniture.  I taped all the windows.  I made sure we both had showers Saturday afternoon and then filled the tub with water in case it would be needed for flushing.  I made sure all the laundry was caught up.  I went to several stores in order to get D batteries (as they were sold out almost everywhere.)  I got an extra charge pack for charging a cell phone if the electricity went out.  I made sure all our electronics were charged.  And that candles and a lighter were nearby and easily accessible.  I had sleeping bags and a "go bag" ready in case a tree fell through the roof and we had to go quickly.

I don't remember everything  I did, but I spent two solid days getting ready.  I went to bed Saturday night, exhausted, knowing two things:  (1) The brunt of the storm was about to hit overnight and (2) I had done everything humanly possible - the outcome was out of my hands.

Two houses down from me.  That's gonna leave a mark.

The storm came and went.  My roof did not leak.  A big branch the size of a tree fell in my yard (no harm done at all).  There were big trees nearby that did fall (one on a poor guy's van).  Of course, there's widespread power outages in the area but our house was fine. Yesterday (Sunday) I spent the day cleaning up the yard and undoing a lot of the earlier prep (taking down the tape, etc.)

Whew.

The Background

Many of you don't know me, or didn't know me over the past few years. You didn't see where I started, what it took to get me to this point in my life.  I left a volatile, emotionally and verbally abusive marriage as a crushed human being in early 2005. I got a protective order in early 2006 as he continued to escalate despite the separation, and the divorce became final in May 2006.  During that time, the thought of simply going grocery shopping, coming home, putting the groceries away....that whole process....was at times overwhelming.  There were times when I'd have to break a task like cleaning the kitchen down into tiny baby steps in order to not feel overwhelmed and paralyzed.  Major clinical depression, a little post-traumatic stress and a whole lot of responsibility sometimes knocked me to my knees for days even weeks at a time.  Little things like just doing dishes or taking down the Christmas tree could derail me emotionally (really.)

Over the years, I have used the "baby steps" approach to tackling almost everything in my life - my career, my finances, my parenting, my housekeeping, my smoking, and my weight.  One little topic at a time I have been becoming stronger, more competent, more able to roll with life's punches and keep moving forward.

So when the whole hurricane warning thing came up, I was thankfully in a position to be able to deal with it alone without it overwhelming me or knocking me over,  I had the financial resources to buy what I needed.  I had the personal time available to take a day off and work on the preparations.  My house was already pretty clean/organized, so all my focus was on safety things.  My body and mind switched into "high alert" and I just did all that needed to be done (in my opinion....others felt I may have gone overboard on my preparations, but I would rather be prepared and not need it than the other way around) like "Rabbit" from Winnie the Pooh "Must keep the schedule, must keep working."

So Friday and Saturday was non-stop preparation. Sunday was assessing the aftermath, cleaning up the yard, and realizing we'd dodged quite a bullet here, followed by watching what was happening as the storm approached my friends and family from New Jersey to Maine.  (One cousin in Mass. had a tree fall on her house and electric wires on her car, my elderly parents were and still are without power in Maine and I was worried all night that they could get flooded, etc.)

The Aftermath

Today, I have been hit with overwhelming emotions from it all.  Maybe part of it is that the adrenaline that kept me going stopped being necessary and has drained away.  Maybe the intensity of watching The Weather Channel and following (with great stress) what was happening to my friends and relatives as the storm went up the coast has dissipated.   Maybe it's my overwhelming sense of isolation and "aloneness" in times like these that's hitting me.  Or just pure relief?  Or some combination of all of the above (most likely.)

Regardless, I have been out of control eating today. One minute I'm sad or angry about nothing in particular.  The unseen enemy?  Or frustrated to no reason - or alternately....feeling empty, too.  It's just a strange combination of ups and downs and it's ticking me off.

I have gotten into ridiculous amounts of carbs which no doubt are making me feel much worse.  I also have thought about going out and buying cigarettes!  Of course, I'm NOT going to do that (I'm on day 666 of my quit!).  But the thoughts did cross my mind.  It gets to me that when my emotions soar like this it's ME I feel like subconsiously destroying.  What's up with that?

Anyway, I'm fine.  I normally don't share days like today.  The thought of strangers reading this doesn't bother me at all.  I feel like I'm just showing the reality of my inner life.  The thought of my own mom reading this, or friends/relatives/coworkers makes me feel vulnerable and like putting put a big notice:  Please do NOT call me and ask if I'm okay or I'll scream!  

I don't ordinarily share ANYTHING when I'm in the midst of it.  I'm WAY more comfortable fixing it, getting over it, dealing with it, etc. and THEN talking about it in the past tense,  It's just how I roll.

Conclusion

I'm human.  Life isn't always easy.  No matter how positive and rah rah I get, sometimes life can just be hard and there are times that require a lot from us, and though we rise to the challenges, sometimes, we need a soft landing afterwards.  I don't really have that soft landing (I'm still here, still responsible, still have to figure out how to get the tree outta my back yard, still have to be the breadwinner etc.) and I want a soft landing dammit.  So I'm landing in soft carbs.

I need to have a better plan.  Like landing on a soft treadmill.  Which I haven't been on in 2 months.    Hmmmm.....next blog topic?  

Breezy Shorts

First, I want to say I am SO happy to be back on a schedule and routine.  I am making smoothies every day, eating good lunches, solid dinners, and am in control of the choices.  It feels good to be getting back into the swing of things after so much travel.

Before I left I had a pile of clothes in my spare room I needed to go through.  Things I wasn't sure if I should take on my trips, or that I wasn't even sure would still look good as I suspected they might be too big.

So I tried on a thing or two.

Holy Mackerel!  That's definitely a boost to the esteem and adds a bit 'o "recharge" to the whole process.  No, I'm not in it just for weight loss.  My main goal is longevity - getting healthy and staying that way.  Of course, one measure of that is attaining a healthy weight.  Even if the scale hasn't moved all that much this summer, seeing this sure was a shot in the arm!

I still have some more clothes left to clear out/donate, and I do look forward to it.  There's something uniquely strengthening in purging out the old to leave room for the new (physically and metaphorically.)

What a nice way to start the week!

Back To School

It's that time again....Back To School at the Carly house.  And I'm not just talking about my son!

This year my son is going to a new school - he's leaving elementary school behind and heading to middle school.  He auditioned for, and got accepted into, a special magnet school - a Performing and Visual Arts (PVA) school - and it starts tomorrow.  I'm so darned proud of him!

Getting him there is going to be a challenge.  It's public school, but because it's outside of our regular area the bus makes only centralized stops.  What that means for me is getting up and out by 6:45 a.m. to get him there on time.  (I'm used to leaving the house around 8:00 for elementary school.)

The other thing is that I am also going back to school.  I have been enrolled at University of Maryland (UMUC) for the past couple of years but have only taken the occasional class here and there.  I have decided it's time to stop playing around and finally get my bachelors degree.  So Biology 103 starts tomorrow.  The syllabus says to plan to devote about 20 hours per week to this class.  Ouch.  Who has 20 hours to spare?  Well, I don't, but I'm going to have to find 'em somewhere.

What this means is I need a solid game plan,  I do not want a reason to derail my progress.  Remember, I want to make this all fail proof!  So I need to think in terms of "How can I ensure success?" rather than "How can I survive this?"  Big difference in outlook and outcome, methinks.

So in planning, there's a lot to consider.  I'm a single, working mom.  I have to factor in a 45 minute commute each way, about an hour per day of exercise, about 2.5 hours per day of homework/reading, some cooking time, some eating time, some shopping/errands/housework time, and of course, some quality time with my son.  Hmm.

Here's the initial plan:  Make lists and post them prominently where both my son and I can see them.  Make sure we have the "as soon as you get home" list of things to accomplish at the end of the work/school day, (prepping food, cooking dinner, doing homework, etc) the "before you go to bed" list of things that must be done (get clothes ready, pack the next day's lunch, son take shower, Carly blog etc.) and the "as soon as you get up" lists (get in some exercise, mom take shower, etc., bring lunch,bring son to school) etc.

It's going to be hairy, and I'm totally going to need to rely on my son to step up and take some responsibility for himself.  I've kind of spoiled him (sort of) in that I haven't required him to do that much around the house.  Well, we're a team and my side of the team is getting a heck of a lot busier and so he'll need to pitch in more. Frankly, I think this is a good thing.

A really encouraging thing is that he is looking forward to, and planning for, a healthier lifestyle this upcoming school year.  He wants to get more fit.  He wants to exercise more and eat better.  He's TOTALLY into the smoothies   We made one yesterday with radishes, cucumbers, spinach, kale, parsley, coconut oil, bananas and strawberries and he loved it!

I think I started making these changes (quitting smoking, eating healthier, exercising) just in the nick of time.  I think much of this is going to be incorporated into what my son just does naturally as he gets older (he's 11 right now.)  I am so thankful for the friends and family who helped me get to this point.  You have no idea what a train wreck I was just a few years ago.  And here I am now with weight goals, health goals, work goals, school goals and a son who's chomping at the bit to try out this new, advanced curriculum at his new school while also getting more fit.  Incredible.

I think I can work it all out.  It might take a little 'growing pains' to figure it all out and work out schedules, etc., but anything's possible if you don't give up!  Whew!  Wish me luck!

xoxox
Carly

Rudeness in the Air

I did a good bit of traveling this summer. On one of the flights, I was mortified at the rudeness of a Southwest Airlines flight attendant toward a gentleman trying to board the flight.

He was just walking slowly down the aisle, as was everyone else in the line, kind of looking to the left and looking to the right to find a seat that he might like. (Southwest doesn't allow to you pick seats in advance - it's more a first come, first served kind of system.)

The man was clearly very overweight.

As he was slowly passing by the exit rows on his way toward the back of the plane, the flight attended abruptly and loudly said, "Do you need an extension for your seatbelt sir?"

He responded quietly "Yes, probably."

To which she (again, loudly) said, "Then you may NOT sit in an exit row."

He responded rather upset: "Who suggested that I sit there? Certainly not me."

This whole exchange was loud and in front of all the folks on the plane. I was so upset! What an ignorant woman, And I felt the guy's pain, truly. I mean, he already knows he's large and just the fact of needing a seat belt extension is enough to make one feel badly, but must we loudly humiliate overweight people like that?

I felt really powerless, too. I wanted to come to his side and tell the woman what an ignoramus she was, but sadly that would have just brought more attention to the situation when the man probably just wanted to invisibly slide into obscurity.

Ugh.

I truly don't think people realize just how OPENLY rude a huge part of society is toward overweight people and how totally ACCEPTED it is as being "okay." The comments I have received over my lifetime by otherwise "nice" people would shock you. The very real discrimination would surprise you. And the open, in your face jokes about fat people are a daily thing. But if you're not tuned in to that station you don't even notice the sound waves. And the majority of people aren't tuned in.

Heck, even family members who truly love me have spent a lifetime making fat jokes, like it's cute, warm, funny and a way to somehow make everyone feel more comfortable with my size. Hard to explain.

I was so glad to fit in the seat easily myself, not need an extension, and actually had to pull the seat belt to tighten it like a normal person. But I didn't take it for granted, I celebrated it, I kept watching the sides of the seat to see if I would "spill over" into the other person's seat (I didn't) and was painfully aware of what flying has generally meant for all these years. Even as I lose the weight, I still think like a morbidly obese person. I wonder if that will stop when I reach my goal?

As to the woman at Southwest Airlines, she needs to get out of the customer relations business until she takes some serious sensitivity training and gets an education about discretion. And there are people like her everywhere you turn. Please, don't be one of them. :-)

Never Sausage A Selection!

Yesterday I got the neatest package delivered to me - a little cooler with an ice pack and an assortment of Al Fresco chicken sausages!

It seems the "Al Fresco" people saw my blog in April where I reviewed their Sweet Apple Sausages (here's the  LINK (lol like the pun?)

Anyway, a few weeks ago they contacted me to see if I'd be interested in trying some of their other products. How cool is that?  So now I have some buffalo sausages and sweet italian style sausages to try.  I'm actually looking forward to the italian style.  Maybe I'll fry them up and add them to spaghetti sauce this weekend.

I feel like a celebrity, my first payment made in SAUSAGE!  I'll have to frame one! Or not.  But I will let you know how they taste.  Next time I think I should review BMW's.  teehee

-------------------------------------------------------

In other news, I have eaten super "cleanly" since returning from vacation.  And it's amazing.  I can REALLY tell the difference in how I feel, how I speak, how I act.  I'm happier and more energetic.  I feel healthier that quickly...just a couple of days into better eating and it makes all the difference.

Now if I could just hoist myself up onto the treadmill and get MOVING again!  That's my goal for this week:  Get back into a routine of MOTION.  Even if I start with just 10 minutes with free weights and 10 minutes on the treadmill...I must do it!

I wonder why it's so hard to get busy doing something that I love doing for myself?  Seriously.

All Juiced Up!

I posted a few months ago that I'd rather eat my calories than smoosh 'em all up into a smoothie or juice and drink them.  I have since totally changed my mind.

First, there is an AMAZING health-related website:  MERCOLA.COM that discusses food, nutrition, exercise, etc.  Dr. Mercola researches this constantly and stays abreast of changing news, scientific data, etc.  He's quite a "holistic" approach kind of guy and although he is certainly an entrepreneur (sells some vitamin products etc.), he is really more about spreading the word about health and nutrition.  If you sign up for his newsletter and site access he does NOT spam you.

Anyway, he's a big proponent of juicing.  I'm more in the camp of smoothies.  Dr. Mercola extracts all the liquids and drinks them (leaving out the fiber from the veggies and fruits) and then eats what's left separately (ick) because the body digests it better that way.  I'm more into the quick and easy method:  Toss it all into the blender and call it a day.

So I researched and while the Vitamix and HealthMaster type blenders look amazing, they are also upwards of $300.  Instead I found a "NINJA" at Walmart for $79.00 (maybe it was $89.00 can't quite remember.)  This blender ROCKS!

My green smoothies so far consist of:

• Spinach (2 cups)
• Kale (2 leaves),
• Parsley (a few sprigs - fresh)
• Strawberries (3 large)
• Blueberries (1/2 cup)
• Banana (whole)
• Coconut Oil (1 tbsp.)
• Water to suit...about 1 cup

Believe it or not the sweetness from the fruit takes the edge off the bitter dark greens and it's pretty enjoyable.

Last night I bought lots more veggies and some more fruit to try changing it up: pineapple, mango, peaches, celery, radishes and collard greens.  These are all things I almost never eat, but which offer their own health benefits.  So if I can toss 'em in, eat 'em raw and get the benefit...WHY NOT?

I can't believe how I did such a 180 degree turn on this.  I tried a green smoothie at a friend's house while traveling and was surprised mostly by how EASY it was to do.  THAT was probably my biggest reason for not doing it before.

I had a fancy smoothie maker with a spout etc.  The thing was a pain to use and a bigger pain to disassemble and clean.  The vitamix 5000 model my friend had was just one unit.  Toss everything in and when you're done, rinse it out, blend some hot water and dishsoap, rinse again and done.  SO EASY!

The NINJA that I bought is the same way, you only remove the blade from the top and the container, blade and lid are even dishwasher safe.

I'm sold.  I'll talk more about the coconut oil in another blog (google it..it's fantastic!!!) but for today, I'll just leave with this thought:  If you aren't getting the recommended servings of veggies each day, this is an easy and totally healthy way to even drink them on the run.

And if you're doing weight watchers, it's 100% point free (except for the coconut oil, but I personally won't sacrifice that!)

Chat with y'all tomorrow....I'm off to make my smoothie and take it on the commute to work!  

On this day in 2010

August 2010 Massachusetts vacation 320 lbs.

On this day in 2010 I posted the following on Facebook right after my summer vacation:

"thinks it's time to get back on a healthy eating plan. After 9 1/2 months of "post-quitting smoking" eating, I realize if hunger isn't the problem, eating isn't the solutiion. Vacation is over - and I'm out of excuses. :-)" 

I weighed 320 at the time.

One year later, I am down 72 pounds, to 248, two days after this year's summer vacation to the same vacation spot.

I have been lax for the past couple of weeks.  Not posting on the blog, not exercising at all, and eating ridiculously bad choices.  While on vacation at the lake I actually ate Little Debbie's snack cakes for pete's sake.  It can't possibly get worse than that!

August 2011 Massachusetts vacation: 248 lbs.

Well, in 2011, upon returning from vacation, I can say...

I think it's time to get back on a healthy eating plan. After2 1/2 months of  mega travel and being out of my regular routine, it's time to get back on track.. Vacation is over - and I'm out of excuses.
:-) 

It's time to get blogging, get moving, and get on track.  I have lots to share and a lot has happened these past couple of months....time to kick this healthy living into high gear!  I have a lot planned for my fall and I'm going to need all the energy, focus and positive attitude I can muster, so here we go!!!!!


I'm already back on track and amazingly, I thought I'd gained 6 pounds during my vacation and after only two days back I'm back to my pre-travel weight.  I suspect a lot of the gain was water from the tons of sodium I consumed (that i'm not used to!)

I'm back, I'm blogging, and I have lots of new goals.  See you tomorrow!!!