What do the following things have in common?
- 12 Five-pound bags of potatoes
- 240 sticks of butter
- 60 cans of Crisco shortening
They all represent how much weight I have lost. And they are all things you won't see me lugging around all day. I look at that in amazement. Imagine picking up 12 bags of potatoes all at once the very moment you woke up, and carrying it around all day until you went to bed. It's hard to believe I was carrying that equivalent of body fat and that it's now gone.
As you can see from the photo, I'm not done yet. I have a long way to go yet. I'm not quite ready to talk about where I started and where I am headed (plugging in actual weight or sizes.) That's still too scary and upsetting to post about. When I get a little closer to the goal I'll start quantifying it all. It's staggering.
I took my son to the Cheesecake Factory over the weekend and had that amazing Pear and endive salad. My son ordered dessert - a white chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake. I ordered some coffee and took about 2 forkfuls of his cheesecake. I realized something at that moment. When craving something like the cheesecake, two bites is all I really need.
When eating decadent things like that, the first bite is always the "oh mmmmmmmmm this is sooooooooooooooo good" bite. The last bite is always the "oh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ahhhhhhhhhhhhh that was sooooooooooooooooooooo good" bite. I had the two best bites of the entire dessert! I mean, all the bites in between are just the same old same old anyway, right? :-)
I am happy. I am losing at a really healthy rate. Each week has been around 1.8 pounds (some a little more, some a little less) but overall nice and steady. I don't feel deprived in the slightest. I eat often and eat well. I am never hungry.
I really think, no I really believe, that I now understand the "lifestyle change" concept of healthy eating. I am living it. And I think the way I'm doing it is sustainable for the long haul. I could not be more pleased with the results.
One more thing.
I am glad I am losing slowly. As I go, I am becoming a new me. I am attracting new attention that I am not used to. I catch men looking at me sometimes. I see women even eyeballing me, taking note of what I'm wearing, or my hair, or maybe those that know me are looking at my weight loss.
Whatever the reason, this is new and requires some adjusting on my part. It's sometimes not comfortable. It sometimes goes straight to my head (I'm too sexy for my hair, too sexy for my clothes lol) In the past, not knowing how to deal with the attention has led to poor choices or a sense of being overwhelmed. I was still "fat Carly" inside someone else's body.
This time I want to take my time, feel the feelings, figure out what I'm doing, and make deliberate choices for my life based on my own values. It's quite a process, and there's no need to rush it. Living a day at a time is a good thing.