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Monday, March 21, 2011

Redefining Myself

Oh how I love words!  And "redefining myself" is a great double entendre!

Before starting this whole "Carly Project," I was a non-descript blob.  Okay, I did have a charming personality and wicked sense of humor (humble, aren't I?) but my body was just...well, very UNdefined.  Even though I have still (only?) lost 44 pounds so far, my body is really starting to take a shape other than "round."

I can see muscles where there was once only mass.  I can even feel those muscles moving as I move. In fact, I can WATCH the muscles kind of "ripple" while looking in the mirror.  You know that trick your dad or crazy uncle used to do - flexing the chest muscles and moving each pectoral muscle, one at a time to make them rise and fall individually?  Ha.  You ain't seen nothing until you see a 44DD doing it.  LOL  Yes, yes I can do it.

Anyway, I can't tell how I'm shaping up without a camera (it's hard to look at yourself and "see") so I snapped a shot of my arm as it is coming into focus.  It's still very big and Lord knows there's probably going to be skin to remove when all is said and done, but here's what it looked like this weekend.

I have a defined shoulder.  Me.  Defined.  For the first time in current memory, I can actually carry a pocketbook over the shoulder without it sliding off because there was nothing for it to hang on - just a big 'ole blob.  Now look.  There's a SHAPE there.  Holy Moly.

Cruella was pretty excited this morning.  She's pumped.  (She's my trainer, Nina.  Cruella is just my affectionate name for her.)  She said she can see the definition coming into focus in my back and along the obliques, too.  I think it's pretty freaking cool that I even know what my obliques are nowadays!  And I can feel them as they move.  Ha!

So my body is being molded, sculpted.....defined.  And I love it.  Now that I can start to see visible, tangible results, I'm all the more excited and energized to keep going.

And this whole process is also redefining many parts of who Carly is.  My thoughts around food, fitness, body image, acceptance, and goals are being redefined continually.  My understanding of family, family time, family activities....are being redefined.  Family time used to mean sitting in the same room on separate computers.  :-)  Now my son and I are getting on our bikes EVERY day, or going for walks, or playing board games.  Our relationship is being redefined.  In fact, I'd say *I* am being redefined.

And I like it.


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