Search This Blog

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

This Is Life

Try to be happy in this moment, 
because this moment IS your life.  ~Carly

Not long ago I was sharing with a friend about my troubles and woes.  Raising a young adolescent alone in a new state with no local support and navigating new dynamics as he tries to yank his independence rather than gently walk into it....can be frustrating.  There have been epic arguments as he jockeys for position, and defiance as he seeks to make his own decisions. I wondered if we were a train wreck and I was botching this whole process - and said I couldn't wait for things to get normal again.

The response hit me profoundly.

"The issues with [your son] are just that...issues. You have a teen boy...welcome to real parenthood. Over time it will pass as it does for everyone. It is not a hiccup in your is life, and you are doing just fine."

I keep coming back to that pithy statement and can apply it in so many ways. Where are you right now? Are you morbidly obese and staying home because you don't want to go out, be seen, interact, and expose your vulnerabilities to the world?

Are you in a bad marriage and not talking with family or friends while you sort things out by yourself and try to get "back to normal"?

Are you putting off that vacation this year because you have gained so much weight you don't think you deserve it, so you will do it next year after you lose weight?

Are you avoiding the class reunion because you don't like where you are right now?

Stop beating yourself up and stop letting life pass by.  There is no do-over button.  There is no revisiting time.  Once it's gone, it's gone, and you don't get one minute back to enjoy.

What if right now, where you are - is as good as it gets?  THIS IS YOUR LIFE.  You are doing the best you can right now, today, this minute, this second.  In another moment, you get to choose to do something differently, if that is what you want to do.  You can choose a healthier lunch.  You can choose to walk 5 minutes.  You can choose to daydream and think about where you'd like to be next year and how you might get there.

What you really shouldn't do is berate yourself in this moment because you are waiting to "be better" or to "do better."  This is your life.  If you don't like it, make one small change, but my goodness, LIVE IT.  Hug people.  Call people.  Get in the game.  Work on those goals.  BE PRESENT.

As my friend said, your issues are just that....issues.  This is not a hiccup in your life -It is life, and you are doing just fine.  Let that be your starting point today - as you launch into some little "next right choice" that gets you one step closer to shaping the life you want...while you enjoy the life you have.



  1. I am a wee bit further down this parent road than you are, and I have two girls, not a son, but I am here to tell you that it all comes good in the end. You don't realise just now because he is pushing your buttons, and you don't have the support you need right beside you to reassure you that all will be well, but you are doing the right thing in how you are bringing him up, you have to trust your instincts I imagine they are seldom wrong. He will thank you eventually, in the meantime..... there is no way out but through, sorry!! Kids, don't you just love them (I don't think I could eat a whole one though ;))) D

  2. lol made me chuckle. Thanks!


Sorry to make you type in the "word verification" but I have been getting a ton of spammers lately. Just type in the word that you see and it should go through.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...